Tim Burton's Dark Shadows - what went wrong?

Burton was definitely sending up things soap operas did, like Carolyn's lycanthropy being an out of nowhere twist and Julia opening her eyes at the end as a hook for future storylines.

I was about to watch this movie. Reading this thread is giving me second thoughts.

Get some alcohol and look for a drinking game. It should make the movie a lot more tolerable. Eva Green shows the Power of Boobs.

I was about to watch this movie. Reading this thread is giving me second thoughts.

In 2012, Tim Burton's re-imagining of Dark Shadows, starring Johnny Depp, was released in movie theatres. However it got at best a lukewarm reception. Why? I think I have a few ideas.

1) The tone. It's inconsistent, but largely played for comedy, with a big helping of sending up the soap opera format. The problem is that with parodies a knowledge of the source material often helps a huge deal. This film is based on a cult classic that only received wide-spread availability that year, and at a pretty big price tag (still fantastic value for money considering how much content there is). If you're making a film that draws inspiration from a cult classic, you should at least try to capture the spirit (pun unintended) of the original, since that's going to be the target audience.

2) The plot. There are just too many threads that get mentioned by never followed up on or resolved, or that developed. You could drop the Maggie Evans bit from Vicki's character and it wouldn't change a thing. Vicki's past and interactions with Josette's ghost would have been interesting, but beyond the flashback sequence and the two time Josette leads Vicki to watch her fall from the chandelier it never becomes relevant.

I think a better approach should have been spending the first half hour with how Barnabas became a vampire etc (including him never having feelings for Angelique, thus making him a more sympathetic character), then following him into the present. Cut out Roger, since he did nothing for the movie. Vicki has been there a few days already and has taken on the Victoria Winters alias because Julia Hoffman was one of her doctors at Windcliff. Throughout the film we see characters walk in on David seemingly talking to himself, him thinking he's talking to his mother (which foreshadows Laura's ghost appearing at the end). Angelique's spirit has reincarnated in Elizabeth, who has secretly been undermining the company.

3) The characters. No one actually develops as a character, nor are they compellingly written. The Barnabas/Vicki relationship is incredibly unconvincing, they meet at breakfast, spend a montage or two on the beach and suddenly they're both enamoured with each other. Probably the most sympathetic Carolyn gets is that she has two times of the month. Roger? He buggers off halfway through, leaving no impact on the plot whatsoever. I've mentioned Victoria Winters already. Angelique's main strategy is the Power of Boobs.