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Post by Timelord007 on Dec 18, 2019 8:07:50 GMT
Redemption takes many forms the first acknowledgement of one's mistake, if one feels empathy or remorseful about what they said or done then this is the first steps of redemption.
As Tulgirl pointed out about the stigma of mental health i have been on receiving end of horrible comments, i been branded mental case, nutter, lunatic, looney, psycho in the past by my family who are ignorant to the fact my mental health was triggered aged 12 because of sexual abuse which began my long battle against depression & OCD the latter became a target for bullies who would punch, kick, trip, spit & stab me with biros, i had my head dunked in a pond, wasn't allowed catch bus home because i was chanted freak & to this day i never use public transport as i become social phobic as a result.
I was asked by my therapist if i could ever forgive those who spoke & did those awful things to me & i said maybe if the person(s) showed genuine remorse & prove they at the time where ignorant to my mental health issues, she then asked if i could forgive the neighbour who abused me who tried to strangle me as i tried fight him off is he was alive to apologise & my reply was NO, i hope he burns in hell every single day, because of him my life changed, my personality changed, my outlook on society & the world changed because one man one day decided he was going to abuse me, i lost my adolescence that day & as a result of his actions never got to do the fun stuff you did as a teenager.
That's why im passion about movies & Doctor Who bevause they where my security blankets that were there for me when my family wasn't, never judging but taking me away on wonderful adventures for a couple of hours.
To this day i suffer PTSD & have nightmares and scream out in my sleep, I'm paranoid, no longer socialise, cynical & distrustful of people & become a borderline recluse, i had many relationships but never mainted a long term one & everyday i battle the demonic bipolar all because of one bad day 32 yrs ago.
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Post by nucleusofswarm on Dec 20, 2019 21:53:23 GMT
Every side of every issue can and does have people who will take things too far. Humans are passionate beings, and passion is not something that comes from rational thought.
That said, I am not of the belief that all sides are equal on every issue - some fight for ideas that cause harm and damage to society and individuals. No two ways around it - A climate denier is not equal to a climate protector, or an actual fascist equal to someone who fights for civil rights. I do think we should be mindful that criticizing 'cancel culture' does, however unintentionally, not lead to victim blaming, and this is especially applicable with Roberts, Dreyfuss, Frances Barber and now, J.K Rowling i.e. it should not be on transpeople to shut up and just deal with abuse from people with platforms that feed into the system that enablles their abuse and, in some unfortunate instances, deaths. What people like Roberts believes goes beyond 'mean words' on Twitter - they help contribute to a culture that normalizes some really awful things against a group of people who just want to live their lives.
Forgiveness/redemption here would not be just a simple apology - it would be something much bigger, harder and require much deeper introspection. You may not have put the gun or knife in the hand of a person who killed a transwoman/man, Gareth/JK/James, but did you contribute to a culture were such an idea is not only permissable, but had support enough to make that kill okay?
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Post by BHTvsTFC on Dec 28, 2019 21:11:46 GMT
Forgiveness/redemption here would not be just a simple apology - it would be something much bigger, harder and require much deeper introspection. You may not have put the gun or knife in the hand of a person who killed a transwoman/man, Gareth/JK/James, but did you contribute to a culture were such an idea is not only permissable, but had support enough to make that kill okay? Yes, this is how I feel about Iain Duncan Smith, who was knighted today. But, at the same time, he and those like him only unleash a maliciousness that exists in a lot of people. JK Rowling is an interesting one. She tends to be opinionated the 'right' way until it affects her directly, then we get the excuses? And I do get the whole issue about people shutting up and taking it. That's what causes the majority of the problems! I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for trans people. I think it must be one of the hardest things anyone could ever have to go through in life - the ups and downs must be traumatic in the extreme and that's even before you factor in other people! I think they will go down as real pioneers in generations to come. They certainly deserve too. And Timelord007, please don't think I have ignored your very intimate post. The attitudes and choices of people in the past are hard enough to live with without anything major going on. I have friends who would sympathise with you on every level. What did your therapist say after you told her you hope your abuser burns in hell? I'm always a bit sceptical about therapy myself, and have heard conflicting things from people who have had it. I imagines it depends on the range of the person giving the therapy. And I agree with wholeheartedly about adventures and fantasy. I read a lot, spend a lot of time alone and generally shut the real world out. If it makes morons like IDS into knights then I want no part of it.
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Post by The Matt on Dec 29, 2019 18:40:52 GMT
I must have missed something but what did James Dreyfus do exactly?
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2019 19:37:31 GMT
I must have missed something but what did James Dreyfus do exactly? Let's not go into that again. Use Google.
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Post by BHTvsTFC on Dec 30, 2019 12:18:14 GMT
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Post by Timelord007 on Jan 1, 2020 8:26:59 GMT
Forgiveness/redemption here would not be just a simple apology - it would be something much bigger, harder and require much deeper introspection. You may not have put the gun or knife in the hand of a person who killed a transwoman/man, Gareth/JK/James, but did you contribute to a culture were such an idea is not only permissable, but had support enough to make that kill okay? Yes, this is how I feel about Iain Duncan Smith, who was knighted today. But, at the same time, he and those like him only unleash a maliciousness that exists in a lot of people. JK Rowling is an interesting one. She tends to be opinionated the 'right' way until it affects her directly, then we get the excuses? And I do get the whole issue about people shutting up and taking it. That's what causes the majority of the problems! I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for trans people. I think it must be one of the hardest things anyone could ever have to go through in life - the ups and downs must be traumatic in the extreme and that's even before you factor in other people! I think they will go down as real pioneers in generations to come. They certainly deserve too. And Timelord007, please don't think I have ignored your very intimate post. The attitudes and choices of people in the past are hard enough to live with without anything major going on. I have friends who would sympathise with you on every level. What did your therapist say after you told her you hope your abuser burns in hell? I'm always a bit sceptical about therapy myself, and have heard conflicting things from people who have had it. I imagines it depends on the range of the person giving the therapy. And I agree with wholeheartedly about adventures and fantasy. I read a lot, spend a lot of time alone and generally shut the real world out. If it makes morons like IDS into knights then I want no part of it. She said until i forgive my abuser I'll never be able move forward because my anger will consume me so i told her I'd rather live a life consumed with anger towards my abuser than forgive him because if i forgive him it's like saying what he did was ok & it's not, he also tried to strangle me to stop me struggling & just thinking about it brings it all back, he died of a stroke 6 months later but i feel i was cheated out of justice, just swept under the carpet like never happened, i battled bipolar, depression, OCD & PTSD ever since. The therapy helped in that it showed me techniques to help control my OCD as I'd clean daily for hours which i no longer do but when she said that it made me very angry. I still to this day sometimes wake up in the night screaming, forgive him....never.
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Post by BHTvsTFC on Jan 1, 2020 11:12:46 GMT
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Post by Timelord007 on Jan 1, 2020 12:52:22 GMT
Many thanks i appreciate this.
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