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Post by mark687 on Jan 16, 2022 22:42:18 GMT
Sorry to post depressing news, I think I won my fight with covid, but it looks like it’s going to take my mums……. She has double pneumonia and not responding to treatment……..this is a long goodbye that’s very hard Today she has been rambling passing responsibilities over that we’re troubling her and funeral things and telling others she loves them. Along with a lot of nonsense, It’s been a hard day I’ve kissed her goodbye, knowing full well that there might not be a tomorrow for her….. Currently I am going through waves of emotion, from depression, acceptance, hope, tears and the why bother going on…….. Very hard dark days ahead for me… I have taken care of her for ten years now full time, but more like 25 while working……… She is my mum, child & best friend and took her in to live with me when she was failing after dad passed…… My life is going to be very different from now on for me…….and not sure if I can handle things short term……. And the guilt of me bringing covid too our door is something I am not sure I can cope with…….. But where there is life there is hope, and be strong I must for a little while longer. And to think I had a good diagnosis before Xmas, now this has shattered me…… Thanks everyone for being there for me, I know I have been a mardy pain to some and am sorry for that…but that’s me kind, bullish, stubborn, and me….., And to admin, thanks for letting us have a safe space to post….. So Sorry to hear this. Take Care of yourself and feel free to to vent whenever. Hopes and Sympathies Regards Mark
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Post by mrperson on Jan 16, 2022 22:49:55 GMT
Well.... I've always been well aware that I have anxiety, social anxiety, some degree of depression, and I've always suspected ADD/ADHD. However, I also absorbed the central "toxic masculinity" thing: so I absorbed it and powered through. (Well... I suppose it depends on who you ask, huh). Social anxiety I attacked head-on. That's another story. And I really do think I mostly won. The remaining things to work on are little things, like this idiotic fear that explodes the moment I pick up a phone to call someone I don't know. I have to berate myself "it's just a court clerk. Their JOB is doing what you want. They don't bite. Nothing bad can happen. You know what you need." And that stops me for three minutes, or thirty (while I do something else). But I call. The more urgent, the quicker. Talking to strangers? Not a problem anymore. Walked right up and did it despite shaking enough times...I guess. Depression? Well, I've never thought of hurting myself. I really never wanted to have to take SSRIs/MAOIs unless it got closer to that point. ADD/ADHD: power through, again. I got through lawschool, I'd tell myself. Yeah, sleeping an average of 4-4.5h/night weekends included at first, and a bit more later. On the other hand, I was the only twit who did it exclusively on paper (this made me focus so I could record the necessary; everyone else banged away on their laptops in class). And I did wonderfully. I've been a lawyer. But the "but" is huge... It worked at first, with pain. It continued to work, with increasing pain. I found myself discounting hours spent so that it would be reasonable for another attorney. I just ate time and worked longer. If it takes me 45m to read a 10 page case because I keep rereading the same paragraph and maybe read one of the issuess (or two) I wasn't looking for before realizing it, well, scratch that time off the pad. Can't bill for that waste, at least in good conscience. But more and more often over the last decade+ I've found myself thinking " holy shit I needed to get this filed. HOW AM I NOT FURTHER ALONG!?.)" The work is hard and intricate, yes. But that's not a problem. It's literally just sitting down and doing it. Minute after minute. Hour after hour. So I researched around the web, first starting with sites I don't entirely trust, just for basics, like WebMD. Ok. Then I branched out. The NIH puts up a lot of studies, and others the abstract/conclusion says enough to push me to do what I am going to do: get the flaming **** over myself, stop thinking of it as defeat, stop worrying if they'll just say I'm a drug-seeker, and go to the doc. Tell them. Get tested.
The other concern, probably the bigger one, was this: what does decades of this stuff do to a person, even if they're following it to the letter and not trying to get high from medication? From what I gather, adderall is an amphetamine blend. Amphetamines! Let's say I opened up when I was 17 and got a subscription, then followed instructions religiously. What does that do by the time I'm 65 or 70, probably retiring? And what if our kinda psychotic government (US) changes its mind in some anti-pharma/anti-doc craze - GOP admin? - and prohibits the stuff being prescribed? What if I've relied on it for 20 years and then it's.....nope, no more. What happens? But I need to go in at this point; it's basically go or maybe I can't be an appellate criminal defense attorney who takes only appointed cases anymore.
It's not even just work. Tasks/plans that I want to do. We replaced our dining room table. Last one turned out to be this giant ikea desk that looked like a table. I want to replace one of my desks with that. All I have to do - ALL I HAVE TO DO - is take the necessary measurements, buy some new/replacement cabinets to put under it (I wanted that anyway), and DO IT. It's been there for a year. The list is endless. My rare very best work days involve 14h at the desk, maybe 6-7 legit billable. And as I went along through these sites I mentioned, I checked just about every single box. Even ones I didn't think had anything to do with ADD/ADHD. Every. ****ing. Box. (Well, minus maybe two). This one lists Hallowell and Ratey's criteria for diagnosis: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1479568/I'm not so sure about some, like addictive behavior. I was addicted to cigarettes 2000-2004, but I cold turkeyed that and didn't look back. Sure, I like some booze some nights. I like a little weed before bed. But I can just as easily _not_ for a month if I want. But, y'know, virtually all of them. Even self-esteem. My usual answer would be "nah, everyone else is the problem", but then I really have been beating myself up for the last few years about ability to work. It's just...draining away. So at 39, I need to get right the **** over myself, remind myself it isn't defeat and everyone fights strugglers, and just.....go. Guess what I've been procrastinating about. Guess. (And I'm also aware that tons of ADD/ADHD symptoms overlap with anxiety and depression, so I guess we'll see). And yes, aforementioned anxiety is also part of that procrastination. So there it is and I'm not bothering to do the usual twenty edits... I wish myself luck
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shutupbanks
Castellan
There’s a horror movie called Alien? That’s really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.
Likes: 5,647
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Post by shutupbanks on Jan 17, 2022 0:34:46 GMT
Sorry to post depressing news, I think I won my fight with covid, but it looks like it’s going to take my mums……. She has double pneumonia and not responding to treatment……..this is a long goodbye that’s very hard Today she has been rambling passing responsibilities over that we’re troubling her and funeral things and telling others she loves them. Along with a lot of nonsense, It’s been a hard day I’ve kissed her goodbye, knowing full well that there might not be a tomorrow for her….. Currently I am going through waves of emotion, from depression, acceptance, hope, tears and the why bother going on…….. Very hard dark days ahead for me… I have taken care of her for ten years now full time, but more like 25 while working……… She is my mum, child & best friend and took her in to live with me when she was failing after dad passed…… My life is going to be very different from now on for me…….and not sure if I can handle things short term……. And the guilt of me bringing covid too our door is something I am not sure I can cope with…….. But where there is life there is hope, and be strong I must for a little while longer. And to think I had a good diagnosis before Xmas, now this has shattered me…… Thanks everyone for being there for me, I know I have been a mardy pain to some and am sorry for that…but that’s me kind, bullish, stubborn, and me….., And to admin, thanks for letting us have a safe space to post….. Sending you hugs, mucky. We’re all here for you.
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Post by Ela on Jan 17, 2022 4:25:50 GMT
Sorry to post depressing news, I think I won my fight with covid, but it looks like it’s going to take my mums……. She has double pneumonia and not responding to treatment……..this is a long goodbye that’s very hard Today she has been rambling passing responsibilities over that we’re troubling her and funeral things and telling others she loves them. Along with a lot of nonsense, It’s been a hard day I’ve kissed her goodbye, knowing full well that there might not be a tomorrow for her….. Currently I am going through waves of emotion, from depression, acceptance, hope, tears and the why bother going on…….. Very hard dark days ahead for me… I have taken care of her for ten years now full time, but more like 25 while working……… She is my mum, child & best friend and took her in to live with me when she was failing after dad passed…… My life is going to be very different from now on for me…….and not sure if I can handle things short term……. And the guilt of me bringing covid too our door is something I am not sure I can cope with…….. But where there is life there is hope, and be strong I must for a little while longer. And to think I had a good diagnosis before Xmas, now this has shattered me…… Thanks everyone for being there for me, I know I have been a mardy pain to some and am sorry for that…but that’s me kind, bullish, stubborn, and me….., And to admin, thanks for letting us have a safe space to post….. I am so sorry, muckypup.
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Post by tuigirl on Jan 17, 2022 20:46:03 GMT
Well.... I've always been well aware that I have anxiety, social anxiety, some degree of depression, and I've always suspected ADD/ADHD. However, I also absorbed the central "toxic masculinity" thing: so I absorbed it and powered through. (Well... I suppose it depends on who you ask, huh). Social anxiety I attacked head-on. That's another story. And I really do think I mostly won. The remaining things to work on are little things, like this idiotic fear that explodes the moment I pick up a phone to call someone I don't know. I have to berate myself "it's just a court clerk. Their JOB is doing what you want. They don't bite. Nothing bad can happen. You know what you need." And that stops me for three minutes, or thirty (while I do something else). But I call. The more urgent, the quicker. Talking to strangers? Not a problem anymore. Walked right up and did it despite shaking enough times...I guess. Depression? Well, I've never thought of hurting myself. I really never wanted to have to take SSRIs/MAOIs unless it got closer to that point. ADD/ADHD: power through, again. I got through lawschool, I'd tell myself. Yeah, sleeping an average of 4-4.5h/night weekends included at first, and a bit more later. On the other hand, I was the only twit who did it exclusively on paper (this made me focus so I could record the necessary; everyone else banged away on their laptops in class). And I did wonderfully. I've been a lawyer. But the "but" is huge... It worked at first, with pain. It continued to work, with increasing pain. I found myself discounting hours spent so that it would be reasonable for another attorney. I just ate time and worked longer. If it takes me 45m to read a 10 page case because I keep rereading the same paragraph and maybe read one of the issuess (or two) I wasn't looking for before realizing it, well, scratch that time off the pad. Can't bill for that waste, at least in good conscience. But more and more often over the last decade+ I've found myself thinking " holy shit I needed to get this filed. HOW AM I NOT FURTHER ALONG!?.)" The work is hard and intricate, yes. But that's not a problem. It's literally just sitting down and doing it. Minute after minute. Hour after hour. So I researched around the web, first starting with sites I don't entirely trust, just for basics, like WebMD. Ok. Then I branched out. The NIH puts up a lot of studies, and others the abstract/conclusion says enough to push me to do what I am going to do: get the flaming **** over myself, stop thinking of it as defeat, stop worrying if they'll just say I'm a drug-seeker, and go to the doc. Tell them. Get tested.
The other concern, probably the bigger one, was this: what does decades of this stuff do to a person, even if they're following it to the letter and not trying to get high from medication? From what I gather, adderall is an amphetamine blend. Amphetamines! Let's say I opened up when I was 17 and got a subscription, then followed instructions religiously. What does that do by the time I'm 65 or 70, probably retiring? And what if our kinda psychotic government (US) changes its mind in some anti-pharma/anti-doc craze - GOP admin? - and prohibits the stuff being prescribed? What if I've relied on it for 20 years and then it's.....nope, no more. What happens? But I need to go in at this point; it's basically go or maybe I can't be an appellate criminal defense attorney who takes only appointed cases anymore.
It's not even just work. Tasks/plans that I want to do. We replaced our dining room table. Last one turned out to be this giant ikea desk that looked like a table. I want to replace one of my desks with that. All I have to do - ALL I HAVE TO DO - is take the necessary measurements, buy some new/replacement cabinets to put under it (I wanted that anyway), and DO IT. It's been there for a year. The list is endless. My rare very best work days involve 14h at the desk, maybe 6-7 legit billable. And as I went along through these sites I mentioned, I checked just about every single box. Even ones I didn't think had anything to do with ADD/ADHD. Every. ****ing. Box. (Well, minus maybe two). This one lists Hallowell and Ratey's criteria for diagnosis: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1479568/I'm not so sure about some, like addictive behavior. I was addicted to cigarettes 2000-2004, but I cold turkeyed that and didn't look back. Sure, I like some booze some nights. I like a little weed before bed. But I can just as easily _not_ for a month if I want. But, y'know, virtually all of them. Even self-esteem. My usual answer would be "nah, everyone else is the problem", but then I really have been beating myself up for the last few years about ability to work. It's just...draining away. So at 39, I need to get right the **** over myself, remind myself it isn't defeat and everyone fights strugglers, and just.....go. Guess what I've been procrastinating about. Guess. (And I'm also aware that tons of ADD/ADHD symptoms overlap with anxiety and depression, so I guess we'll see). And yes, aforementioned anxiety is also part of that procrastination. So there it is and I'm not bothering to do the usual twenty edits... I wish myself luck I know exactly how you feel. Like, exactly. I had lived my life, I got fantastic marks in school, I went to veterinary school, I got my PhD. I struggled a lot, I suffer from social anxiety, I had fights with depression. Heck, the most unlikely chains of events can trigger panic attacks. I once got a panic attack while queuing for tickets for the Doctor Who convention. Of all places. Trigger was most likely I had not slept and eaten because of excitement and all this became too much.
I am now working a "normal" office 9 hour job. Answering phone, working at the desk, working in the lab, developing tests, analysing tests. I will be frank. Sometimes I struggle. I have a very hard time setting priorities. Sometimes, it is really really bad. I am lucky I have such nice colleagues who look out for me and who tell me to focus, because all goes to **** when I try everything at once.
I find it very hard to organize my life. Same story as you.
I did the same you did. 3 years ago I basically self-diagnosed myself with ADHD. And I told my sister and my sister is similar, as is my aunt, we suspect it runs in the family. But since mental illness and similar "does not exist and had not been spoken of" in the family, nobody ever suspected.
The topic popped up prominently, since my nephew (5 years) has now also been diagnosed with it. My parents became really upset and offended with this. I just replied: "Good. At least he has a diagnosis. Now something can be done. Better than finding out 40 years later!"
I have been wondering if I should seek treatment. If it is getting any worse at work, I might have no other choice.
Anyways, if you need to talk, I am there for a chat via PM.
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Post by tuigirl on Jan 17, 2022 20:49:36 GMT
Sorry to post depressing news, I think I won my fight with covid, but it looks like it’s going to take my mums……. She has double pneumonia and not responding to treatment……..this is a long goodbye that’s very hard Today she has been rambling passing responsibilities over that we’re troubling her and funeral things and telling others she loves them. Along with a lot of nonsense, It’s been a hard day I’ve kissed her goodbye, knowing full well that there might not be a tomorrow for her….. Currently I am going through waves of emotion, from depression, acceptance, hope, tears and the why bother going on…….. Very hard dark days ahead for me… I have taken care of her for ten years now full time, but more like 25 while working……… She is my mum, child & best friend and took her in to live with me when she was failing after dad passed…… My life is going to be very different from now on for me…….and not sure if I can handle things short term……. And the guilt of me bringing covid too our door is something I am not sure I can cope with…….. But where there is life there is hope, and be strong I must for a little while longer. And to think I had a good diagnosis before Xmas, now this has shattered me…… Thanks everyone for being there for me, I know I have been a mardy pain to some and am sorry for that…but that’s me kind, bullish, stubborn, and me….., And to admin, thanks for letting us have a safe space to post….. Oh god. This sucks so much. I am so sorry. I am lost for words. I would just like to hug you very very hard.
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Post by Ela on Jan 17, 2022 22:02:46 GMT
A child in my granddaughter's preschool tested positive for Covid. Not in her class, but they combine the two classes for aftercare. My granddaughter's rapid test was negative, but the whole preschool has to stay home and quarantine. And there's a newborn sister. I'm going over now to help care for the older child while my daughter cares for her newborn, they're keeping the kids separate till they know for sure if the older child will test positive, My granddaughter's PCR test, as well as a rapid test, were both negative. School is closed for quarantine till the 25th. Another kid had a positive test, but it was discovered the same day as the first kid, so quarantine duration is not changed. The other grandma is coming into town to help out with the kids, as well as me being available. At least we no longer have to keep the kids separated to protect the infant. In other news, my grandson will be 5 next month. His mom texted today that he is scheduled for a 5-year check up and Covid vaccine.
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Post by rran on Jan 19, 2022 15:04:20 GMT
Sorry to post depressing news, I think I won my fight with covid, but it looks like it’s going to take my mums……. She has double pneumonia and not responding to treatment……..this is a long goodbye that’s very hard Today she has been rambling passing responsibilities over that we’re troubling her and funeral things and telling others she loves them. Along with a lot of nonsense, It’s been a hard day I’ve kissed her goodbye, knowing full well that there might not be a tomorrow for her….. Currently I am going through waves of emotion, from depression, acceptance, hope, tears and the why bother going on…….. Very hard dark days ahead for me… I have taken care of her for ten years now full time, but more like 25 while working……… She is my mum, child & best friend and took her in to live with me when she was failing after dad passed…… My life is going to be very different from now on for me…….and not sure if I can handle things short term……. And the guilt of me bringing covid too our door is something I am not sure I can cope with…….. But where there is life there is hope, and be strong I must for a little while longer. And to think I had a good diagnosis before Xmas, now this has shattered me…… Thanks everyone for being there for me, I know I have been a mardy pain to some and am sorry for that…but that’s me kind, bullish, stubborn, and me….., And to admin, thanks for letting us have a safe space to post….. Take care… We’re here, whenever you feel like taking it out…
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Post by rran on Jan 19, 2022 15:26:20 GMT
Well, it's been a week since I was informed about the COVID case in my house. Physically, I seem to be fine. I've always had a very robust immune system though, so there's every chance I could have it but be asymptomatic, so I don't want to risk potentially passing it on to anyone else by leaving the house. Cabin fever's set in pretty quickly and I can feel myself slowly going crazy. I can't get my hands on a RAT to save my life. Most (if not all) websites don't let you order them online, and the only place where I can pick up one for free as a close contact, is way too far away for me to get there. I don't drive and I can't use public transport, and I can't order anything online. How the hell am I supposed to get a test so I can leave my house?! I was really lucky in that I'd just done a big grocery shop on the day I was told about the case, so I haven't needed to order anything until today. Of course, this process just had to be equally as frustrating as getting a test. Turns out there's a minimum purchase price before they do deliveries, which was greater than the supplies that I needed. And they're charging $15 to literally drive down a hill (I'm a 3-4 minute walk from the supermarket). AND I should have planned ahead, as you can't get same-day delivery. Wished I'd known that before I ran out food yesterday! I guess I'll just have to order a pizza or something to tide me over until tomorrow. All this would have been avoided if I didn't live with four other people. I didn't want to live where I'm living, especially since it meant the probability I was going to have to self-isolate like this was qunitupled. I feel pretty isolated normally, so this imposed isolation makes everything feel worse. It's putting my life on hold when I really need to be out doing things. I'm still job searching, but you can't go into places, introduce yourself and apply if you can't leave the house. I'm just... really sick of this. And it's only been a week. I've got some friends and family keeping eyes out for RAT kits, so hopefully someone will be able to find one for me soon and I can at least go for a walk or something. Keep safe, everyone. I hope all’s well with you…
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Post by Whovitt on Jan 19, 2022 22:30:33 GMT
Well, it's been a week since I was informed about the COVID case in my house. Physically, I seem to be fine. I've always had a very robust immune system though, so there's every chance I could have it but be asymptomatic, so I don't want to risk potentially passing it on to anyone else by leaving the house. Cabin fever's set in pretty quickly and I can feel myself slowly going crazy. I can't get my hands on a RAT to save my life. Most (if not all) websites don't let you order them online, and the only place where I can pick up one for free as a close contact, is way too far away for me to get there. I don't drive and I can't use public transport, and I can't order anything online. How the hell am I supposed to get a test so I can leave my house?! I was really lucky in that I'd just done a big grocery shop on the day I was told about the case, so I haven't needed to order anything until today. Of course, this process just had to be equally as frustrating as getting a test. Turns out there's a minimum purchase price before they do deliveries, which was greater than the supplies that I needed. And they're charging $15 to literally drive down a hill (I'm a 3-4 minute walk from the supermarket). AND I should have planned ahead, as you can't get same-day delivery. Wished I'd known that before I ran out food yesterday! I guess I'll just have to order a pizza or something to tide me over until tomorrow. All this would have been avoided if I didn't live with four other people. I didn't want to live where I'm living, especially since it meant the probability I was going to have to self-isolate like this was qunitupled. I feel pretty isolated normally, so this imposed isolation makes everything feel worse. It's putting my life on hold when I really need to be out doing things. I'm still job searching, but you can't go into places, introduce yourself and apply if you can't leave the house. I'm just... really sick of this. And it's only been a week. I've got some friends and family keeping eyes out for RAT kits, so hopefully someone will be able to find one for me soon and I can at least go for a walk or something. Keep safe, everyone. I hope all’s well with you… Things are looking up at this point My sister was finally able to get me a RAT kit on Tuesday, which gave me a negative result. After a fortnight's isolation, I'm finally allowed to leave the house! Except, you know, no-one I know wants to be around me at the moment ("just to be on the safe side"), so I've got nowhere to go... I can at least get out for walks now and not have to have my groceries delivered any more though, so there are still some positives
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Post by muckypup on Jan 22, 2022 20:29:24 GMT
Well I not felt like posting before….. But I lost my mam to covid on Wednesday, it was all too much for her frail body to take and slipped away in her sleep
I’m a broken thing at the moment cause not only have I lost my mum/best friend the money stops too and my life will need to change. So will need to get a job soon ish…… I’m sick but not sick enough, too get any money apparently……..
The admin at present is impossible, so much too do but registrars are working on call back 7 - 10 days so death certificate be longer as they post them out…… So cannot move forward… Funeral arranged, but need to sort flowers n things……
Spent the last 4 days sobbing over silly things
Half of me feel like no point in carrying on, other half says you will be ok……..
Grateful I was allowed to sit will her in the final days, she was very frail but although confused due to lack of oxygen, she was still asking after everything and trying to make sure I was ok…….. I loved/love her so much, I’m trying to be brave, and not let her down…..but it’s hard on your own…..
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2022 20:40:51 GMT
Well I not felt like posting before….. But I lost my mam to covid on Wednesday, it was all too much for her frail body to take and slipped away in her sleep I’m a broken thing at the moment cause not only have I lost my mum/best friend the money stops too and my life will need to change. So will need to get a job soon ish…… I’m sick but not sick enough, too get any money apparently…….. The admin at present is impossible, so much too do but registrars are working on call back 7 - 10 days so death certificate be longer as they post them out…… So cannot move forward… Funeral arranged, but need to sort flowers n things…… Spent the last 4 days sobbing over silly things Half of me feel like no point in carrying on, other half says you will be ok…….. Grateful I was allowed to sit will her in the final days, she was very frail but although confused due to lack of oxygen, she was still asking after everything and trying to make sure I was ok…….. I loved/love her so much, I’m trying to be brave, and not let her down…..but it’s hard on your own….. Sorry to hear that mate. Hope you get through.
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Post by tuigirl on Jan 22, 2022 20:57:41 GMT
Well I not felt like posting before….. But I lost my mam to covid on Wednesday, it was all too much for her frail body to take and slipped away in her sleep I’m a broken thing at the moment cause not only have I lost my mum/best friend the money stops too and my life will need to change. So will need to get a job soon ish…… I’m sick but not sick enough, too get any money apparently…….. The admin at present is impossible, so much too do but registrars are working on call back 7 - 10 days so death certificate be longer as they post them out…… So cannot move forward… Funeral arranged, but need to sort flowers n things…… Spent the last 4 days sobbing over silly things Half of me feel like no point in carrying on, other half says you will be ok…….. Grateful I was allowed to sit will her in the final days, she was very frail but although confused due to lack of oxygen, she was still asking after everything and trying to make sure I was ok…….. I loved/love her so much, I’m trying to be brave, and not let her down…..but it’s hard on your own….. I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking. Please feel free if you need to talk.
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Post by mark687 on Jan 22, 2022 21:46:01 GMT
Well I not felt like posting before….. But I lost my mam to covid on Wednesday, it was all too much for her frail body to take and slipped away in her sleep I’m a broken thing at the moment cause not only have I lost my mum/best friend the money stops too and my life will need to change. So will need to get a job soon ish…… I’m sick but not sick enough, too get any money apparently…….. The admin at present is impossible, so much too do but registrars are working on call back 7 - 10 days so death certificate be longer as they post them out…… So cannot move forward… Funeral arranged, but need to sort flowers n things…… Spent the last 4 days sobbing over silly things Half of me feel like no point in carrying on, other half says you will be ok…….. Grateful I was allowed to sit will her in the final days, she was very frail but although confused due to lack of oxygen, she was still asking after everything and trying to make sure I was ok…….. I loved/love her so much, I’m trying to be brave, and not let her down…..but it’s hard on your own….. Sincerest Condolences
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shutupbanks
Castellan
There’s a horror movie called Alien? That’s really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.
Likes: 5,647
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Post by shutupbanks on Jan 23, 2022 0:38:53 GMT
Well I not felt like posting before….. But I lost my mam to covid on Wednesday, it was all too much for her frail body to take and slipped away in her sleep I’m a broken thing at the moment cause not only have I lost my mum/best friend the money stops too and my life will need to change. So will need to get a job soon ish…… I’m sick but not sick enough, too get any money apparently…….. The admin at present is impossible, so much too do but registrars are working on call back 7 - 10 days so death certificate be longer as they post them out…… So cannot move forward… Funeral arranged, but need to sort flowers n things…… Spent the last 4 days sobbing over silly things Half of me feel like no point in carrying on, other half says you will be ok…….. Grateful I was allowed to sit will her in the final days, she was very frail but although confused due to lack of oxygen, she was still asking after everything and trying to make sure I was ok…….. I loved/love her so much, I’m trying to be brave, and not let her down…..but it’s hard on your own….. I am so sorry to hear that, muckypup. Deepest condolences to you.
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Post by elkawho on Jan 23, 2022 22:54:20 GMT
Well I not felt like posting before….. But I lost my mam to covid on Wednesday, it was all too much for her frail body to take and slipped away in her sleep I’m a broken thing at the moment cause not only have I lost my mum/best friend the money stops too and my life will need to change. So will need to get a job soon ish…… I’m sick but not sick enough, too get any money apparently…….. The admin at present is impossible, so much too do but registrars are working on call back 7 - 10 days so death certificate be longer as they post them out…… So cannot move forward… Funeral arranged, but need to sort flowers n things…… Spent the last 4 days sobbing over silly things Half of me feel like no point in carrying on, other half says you will be ok…….. Grateful I was allowed to sit will her in the final days, she was very frail but although confused due to lack of oxygen, she was still asking after everything and trying to make sure I was ok…….. I loved/love her so much, I’m trying to be brave, and not let her down…..but it’s hard on your own….. I am so sorry you are going through this. May her memory be a blessing to you and your loved ones.
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Post by aussiedoctorwhofan on Jan 24, 2022 21:57:18 GMT
So I heard this morning through the secret squirrel work grapevine that so far the number is 4 who have "it".. 1 of them works in the office directly next to me I was speaking to her early last week from across the hall. We have a Federal Election in a few months, no way will the current "leader" get re-elected. Just google "Scotty from Marketing" ! EDIT: Just had meeting with my Manager she spoke to the Exec Assistant to the CEO.. it's 7 now.
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Post by bonehead on Jan 24, 2022 23:39:45 GMT
I've suddenly developed insomnia. It's huge amounts of fun. For the last few nights, I've had about 2 hour's sleep per night. Tonight it looks like I won't sleep at all - I've got to get up for work in less than five hours. I can't think what's causing this - no stress or anxiety to speak of. Thanks for reading - back to lying in bed feeling progressively rough and agitated. Excellent.
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Post by aussiedoctorwhofan on Jan 25, 2022 2:12:33 GMT
I just spoke to 1 of my work colleagues on the phone. I haven't heard from him in 1 month. He confirmed it felt like to him "imagine the worst flu you have ever had, then add onto that. I was dizzy, couldn't breathe, couldn't concentrate".
He started back yesterday as WFH (work from home) he still feels lethargic. I then "unrecorded" the call function and we had a little talk about anti vaxxers... They will never learn.
:-(
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Post by tuigirl on Jan 25, 2022 8:12:17 GMT
I've suddenly developed insomnia. It's huge amounts of fun. For the last few nights, I've had about 2 hour's sleep per night. Tonight it looks like I won't sleep at all - I've got to get up for work in less than five hours. I can't think what's causing this - no stress or anxiety to speak of. Thanks for reading - back to lying in bed feeling progressively rough and agitated. Excellent. Been there. I once went through a patch where I had not slept for 6 weeks. NOT fun. Only resolved when I went to get medication and therapy (back then, I did not know what it was and how to handle it, so getting help and instructions was the best way).
Worst bit it, when you are aware that you NEED sleep and you stress yourself out trying to force yourself to calm down.... I know, this does not work and makes it worse.
Things that help me in these situations (in no particular order).
- progressive muscle relaxation (I have some tapes that walk you though the different muscle groups, I bet there are some available for free) - hot relaxing shower and/ or sauna in the evening - Yoga class in the evening - a certain ritual before going to bed. With me, it is listening to old audio plays that I know inside out. So I am not forced to listen, but can just have the old soothing familiar voices in the background - good sleep hygiene. This is very important. In my bedroom, no screens, mobile phones, ipads allowed. Except Kindle that does not light by itself. Reason- the light given off my mobile devices simulated daylight and tricks your epiphysis gland in producing less Melatonin (the sleep hormone). Yes, I know, hard thing to do, but I just stop using devices as soon as I want to go to bed and try to settle into my sleep routine.
- One thing that helped friends of mine (I have not tried it myself) getting yourself a weighted blanked. I think they are also called security blankets. Used for all kinds of mental issues. I know they are expensive, but they really seem to do the trick.
Wishing you all the best!
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