Weirdest dreams

I have them all the time.
Sometimes it is like being in a life-action blockbuster movie.
I had too many to re-tell, but one of my favorites was when I was on one of my remote wildlife research islands in New Zealand, I dreamed that my volunteers and I were kidnapped by pirates and had to be rescued by a submarine of the NZ navy.
Which is ridiculous on so many levels-
no pirates in NZ and the NZ navy consists of 2 not very impressive ships (and no submarine).
Although being marooned on a pirate island has its charms (for an adventure movie).

i dream all the time, they mostly mixed up loads of nonsense......i have dream versions of places and events i have been to, my dream version of Disneyland is nothing like the place but every bit as real in my head, things i have done that bare little resemblance to the event, but can bring them to mind now just like they were real.
some times these creep into real life and for a second or two, my brain confuses the real with the dream place.......

i can have many dreams in the dream place but doing different stuff each time.......but i remember i have been there and my dream adapts, like i will have eaten somewhere and my brain sort of remembers.......its all quite strange

lots of dreams where i'm naked or wearing something inappropriate like dirty work clothes to a wedding or onstage etc......
or sinking in something thick and gloppy, be it a jelly monster (the D&D gelatinous cube a lot in teen years), quicksand, mud, etc......and wake panic stricken flailing my arms about .......
they really real for a good 10 mins after i wake, often wake feeling i have done something wrong, i can be crying, panting, shouting, scared etc. takes a while for reality to kick in......

so nothing specific although i often witnessed various work colleagues run a muck with a Stanley knife at work killing everyone.......same dream but different protagonist

anyone else have dream-places they revisit or am i a bit wrong in the head

I have very vivid dreams and nightmares I keep a journal of them, so there's tons I could share. Some are just fragments - I remember one where my mother had killed a portly Chinese man and wanted me to help stuff his body into our furnace, and another time where I was shot in the head with very detailed sensations - but I'll tell you a couple that I remember in detail, both from many years ago.

The first is completely absurd. I'm sitting in this beautiful, old-fashioned theater. Ornate, gilded walls, velvet ropes, red curtains, all of that. The audience is dressed in formal wear, as though for a night at the opera. Lights go down. Expectant hush comes over the audience. Curtains up.

On the stage, there is an elephant. It's lying spread-eagle on its back, with its rear end facing the audience. And it begins to fart. But the farts don't sound like farts. They sound like cannon fire. And after each cannon-fart, the audience applauds rapturously.

I have no idea to this day what the hell that was all about.

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The second one actually scared the living crap out of me.

I'm at my childhood home. I grew up in the sticks, see, so our house was built on the foot of a mountain. In front of the house is the highway and a very steep ditch full of thorn bushes. Behind the house there is no fence between the end of our back yard and the beginning of the forest. Said yard is split into two levels by a steep incline with a rickety wooden stairway on it.

Anyway, in the dream I'm wandering the woods with my dog, as I often did for real back then. But I get that prickly, back-of-the-neck feeling when you're being watched. In the waking world, we often saw bears, coyotes, and cougars wander through our property, and sometimes in the woods I would find the leftovers of their kill. So I knew that feeling well, and I knew it was time to leave the area.

Twigs snapping somewhere off in the trees. Dog goes running off to investigate. Through the trees emerges some kind of demon.  His legs are like a that of a very large and muscular kangaroo. His upper body is that of a man, and he has horns, and a lipless, skinless face with sharp teeth. The creature is sort of a reddish black, like something burned.

I run from it, out of the woods and into the upper tier of the yard. He goes bounding after me, and threw me off the hill down into the lower section of the yard, which was about a 20-foot drop, so I'm rather dazed.

I hear the dog bark again and he's coming down the stairs, only the back half of him is on the top stair, and the front half of him is on the bottom, with nothing in between. I get up and I run out in front of the house, but the monster takes a flying leap from the top of the hill, lands on me, and together we slide into the thorn-ditch. He puts his face right up next to mine like Alien 3, and I can feel his hot breath, and he says to me in a horrible, demonic voice:

I know who you are.

And then I wake up. I was shaken enough that I drew him to get it out of my system.


I got plenty more I can tell, if you want to hear 'em.

Well, I do eat an entire wheel of cheese every night in bed, drives Mr Polly crazy....

Anyway, a further dream tale for you.

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The beginning of this one is a little muddied, it was another wandering the woods dream, and some animal came after me, and I kept trying to dial emergency services but I always press the wrong buttons on my phone and so on.

After a while I wander off into the woods. I find myself at the bottom of a very steep mountainside, in a small camping area near a misty pond. I see a teenage girl in a sundress. She unsettles me for some reason. Eventually I realize it's because I can see her in two places at once.

I wander a little further and by the edge of a pond, I find a forest ranger, who tells me that the girl's family own this little camping spot and that there really are two of them. They're twins. They were born a boy and a girl, but now they're both girls. As a side note, I'm pretty sure that's impossible in real life because fraternal twins wouldn't look the same and identical twins are the same sex to begin with. Anyway.

This family lives in a trailer back on top of the hill, on a cliffside overlooking the area. I go in. And I see that they are a normal family, with two daughters who bicker a little bit. The father is working at his desk, and he lives in these woods because he is a conservationist. Plaid shirt, fishing vest, mustache, glasses, the whole nine yards. There was a mother in the trailer too, but I didn't write down anything much about her.

Somehow or other, I just know that they have in fact all been dead for a very long time, and they have become immortal monsters. At this point I notice that their trailer is in disrepair - the far end is broken open a little, with evergreen branches and snow poking in (although there was no snow anywhere else in this dream). The family's faces have changed to look hungry and foxlike, yet still human...until they grin unnaturally wide and run their tongues over mouths full of fangs.

They insist to me that despite all this, they are a perfectly normal family. they just like to scare people is all. And somehow, even in the midst of a creepy dream, I end up engaged in some silly bickering.

Monster Family: ...we just like to scare people.
Polly: Eat people.
Monster Family: Scare people.
Polly: Eat people.
Monster Family: (beat)....eat people.

I don't recall how things went immediately after this little exchange. The monsters mention some part of my home address, which creeps me out, and I demand to know how they knew that. They just laugh, the father grabs me by the shirt, and shoves me out the door. I fall over the cliff edge.

I wake up at that point with red and blue "static" all through my vision. According to my journal, I punched Mr Polly awake and demanded to know if he was real or not. Turns out he was, but very much not amused.

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Not everything has recall this good though. I'll give another example which is verbatim from my journal entry:

A violent, Hogwarts-like school where assassins were trained and the Houses killed each other. I was "red team."

There was an attack helicopter which had a black hole gun and an xenomorph egg gun and I used them both and a guy from the other team got sucked up into the black hole.

I don't know what's wrong with me lol

I don't really think there's anything wrong with me, it's looking back over some of these journal entries, so many of them are strange or absurd it's like "What the heck was that all about?"

I'm sure you have plenty of imagination too. Everybody dreams, it's just a matter of recall, which does take practice.

Well, if Phineas Gage can have a railway bar shot through his head and be mostly okay, I'm sure your dream self might be just as resilient....

As for Jago, I think such an intelligent impresario as he would hit paydirt presenting this pachyderm to the punters. Litefoot may not be so enthralled.

A weird dream I recently had involved me breeding snakes in my bath. Not using separate tanks or anything but every species just thrown on top of one another. Fairly certain the one from Beetlejuice was in there as well.

Last night I dreamed that I was becoming the mattress on which I was sleeping. Skin and bone turning into springs and wire necessitated I only got 2 and a half hours' sleep, and now I sit here feeling like a juiceless husk. Like any other sensible human being in this state, I'm going to put on my headphones and listen to the second half of Plight of the Pimpernel!

6 hours later, I still haven't recovered. I do have some incredible nightmares.