Post by nucleusofswarm on Dec 26, 2020 3:21:49 GMT
Seasons greetings to all. As no doubt a fair amount here are full of good spirits, and food, and this is a time of cheer, I'd figured I'd do a goofier thread to bring a grin: take any line from Doctor Who and swap out a word with 'Pickle'. See what you can generate.
"Winning? Is that what you think it’s about? I’m not trying to win. I’m not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It’s not because it’s fun. God knows it’s not because it’s easy. It’s not even because it works because it hardly ever does.. I DO WHAT I DO BECAUSE IT’S PICKLE!"
Can you hear them? All these people who've lived in terror of you and your judgement? All these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, sacrificed themselves, to you. Can you hear them singing? Oh, you like to thing you're a god. But you're not a god. You're just a parasite eaten out with jealousy and envy and longing for the lives of others. You feed on them. On the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow. So, come on, then. Take mine. Take my memories. But I hope you've got a big appetite, because I have lived a long life and I have seen a few things. I walked away from the last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. No time. No space. Just me. I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man. I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you will never understand. And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze. So come on, then. Take it! Take it all, baby! Pickle it! You pickle it all!
"There's a horror movie named Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everybody keeps invading you."
DOCTOR: I looked at it for a moment and suddenly I saw it through his eyes. It was simply glowing with life, like a perfectly cut jewel. And the colours? Well, the colours were deeper and richer than you could possibly imagine. Yes, that was the pickliest pickle I'd ever seen.
JO: And that was the secret of life? A pickle? Honestly, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes, I laughed too when I first heard it. So, later, I got up and I ran down that mountain and I found that the rocks weren't grey at all, but they were red, brown and purple and gold. And those pathetic little patches of sludgy snow, they were shining white. Shining white in the sunlight. You still frightened, Jo?
CYBER-CONTROLLER: "Tʜᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴᴏɪᴅ ᴍɪɴᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴏ̨ᴜɪsɪᴛɪᴠᴇ." THE DOCTOR: "Ah, I see, a pickle. A very special sort of pickle, too." PARRY: "What do you mean, special pickle?" THE DOCTOR: "Well, don't you see? They only wanted superior intellects. That's why they made the pickle so complicated." CYBER-CONTROLLER: "Wᴇ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴍᴇʙᴏᴅʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛ, ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ." *holds out jar*
"Courage isn't a matter of not being frightened you know; It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway."
Across the country this lunchtime, people are unwrapping their share of the left over turkey taken home after Christmas Day, only to discover they don't have the necessary condiments and preserves that make a Boxing Day lunch -
"Men, young men, are dying for pickle!"
Last Edit: Dec 26, 2020 12:37:08 GMT by fitzoliverj: Having trouble with mice. Turns out there's one thing you should never put in a trap - pickle!
Post by The Brigadier on Dec 26, 2020 18:40:55 GMT
Quotes from the Worshipful and Ancient Guide to Pickling (also called Pickling with Rass), a lesser known artifact of Rassilon that was stored in the lowest draw of a filing cabinet in the farthest corner of the Panapticon Archive's basement before it's mysterious disappearance on the same day that an old type 40 Tardis was stolen from it's cradle.
It is whispered in some quarters that the tome is therefore in the possession of a certain renegade Timelord, and that it's pickling secrets are being handed down from one regeneration to the next.
A coincidence? You decide..
"The Universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them pickles."
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good pickles and bad pickles. The good pickles don't always soften the bad pickles, but vice versa, the bad pickles don't always spoil the good pickles and make them unimportant."
"There are some corners of the Universe that have bred the most terrible pickles. Pickles which act against everything we believe in. They must not be bought."
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the river's dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the pickles need pickling."
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