|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 12, 2021 17:26:21 GMT
"Abandon ship! the Doctor screamed, trying to make himself heard over the Cloister Bell.
"Do we even have escape capsules?" shouted Clara, simultaneously trying to hold her hands over ears and hold them outstretched to steady herself, as the TARDIS threw itself around the vortex.
"We'll use the Jade Pagoda!" the Doctor shouted. "Get a move on, Strax!"
"Sontarans do not run away," Strax called back from behind the drum kit. "We should man the weapons and return fire!"
"This isn't an attack!" the Doctor replied testily. "A natural phenomenon is affecting the TARDIS!"
Strax stood up. "In that case, a strategic withdrawal *would* be considered prudent."
The Doctor ushered his companions into the Jade Pagoda, but before he could enter himself, to his horror the door slammed shut, and he saw the facility fall away from the TARDIS into space!
He span around on his heel, and looked up. "What are you doing?" he screamed at the TARDIS.
As the Jade Pagoda fell out of real space, it was observed from a double-decker bus by Iris Wildthyme and River Song.
"Am I the only person," said Panda laconically, "the only person who thinks this is all a lot of effort for no gain?"
River Song glared at him. "I don't take advice from teddy bears."
"Ooh, chuck," Iris said, "if I had a pound for every time I'd said that..."
"You'd have a lot more money, and a lot more sense," Panda interrupted.
Ignoring Panda, River turned to Iris and asked, "how long until the Jade Pagoda arrives at the Ringpull?"
Before Iris could answer, all three turned their heads as one to the bus's rear doors, where an improbable knocking sound could be heard. Even though the bus was floating in space, with no air or gravity and the temperature well belong freezing, somebody seemed to be outside, and they urgently wanted to come in...
|
|
|
Post by grinch on Apr 12, 2021 18:29:35 GMT
The doors opened as in walked in a gentleman wearing a bespoke suit and tie, clutching a briefcase with a bowler hat perched atop his head. It would all be very ordinary if not for the fact he had a salmon for a head.
Examining his watch, he walked forward ready to take a seat only to stop as he noticed the bemused crowd in front of him.
“Oh, my apologies.” said the Fish Headed Gentleman raising his hat. “Is this not the Number 22 for Putney Common?”
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 13, 2021 12:40:07 GMT
Meanwhile 12, Clara, and Strax were floating around in space in the Jade Pagoda. 12 looked over to a terrified Clara, and gently took her hand in his. Clara blushed, she had to admit when he wasn’t overdoing things this “new and improved” Doctor was kind of cute. 12 blushed back. “Maybe after all this is over....” but he wasn’t able to finish his thought. Strax was hanging out of the side of the Pagoda!
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 13, 2021 14:08:14 GMT
Strax pulled himself back into the Pagoda, apparently satisfied with something.
"Will you please wait one moment?" he announced. Strax proceeded to root around in his medical bag, pulling out a ray pistol with whcih he shot the Doctor dead.
Clara screamed.
"You need not fear, boy," Strax assured her. "By virtue of my superior Sontaran skills and training, I observed that the Doctor had not entered this device with us."
Clara screamed.
"Consequently, this creature must be a Rutan spy, or some other vile replicoid. Look," Strax continued, opening out the gaping wound in the corpse's chest with his medical lazer scalpel, "you can see that the impersonator lacks the second heart."
Clara screamed.
"It is my belief," Strax proclaimed, "that we have entered that alternate realm known as the Obverse, where things are not as they are in our universe. There is an atmosphere outside the Pagoda, and this creature in here. We must be alert."
Clara whimpered, still shocked.
The Pagoda was knocked by a gentle vibration.
"Ah, we have arrived on solid ground," Strax announced. "Let us leave this box, and this false Doctor with it."
***
False Doctors were not part of The Plan, no more than fish-headed visitors were.
"Who is he?" hissed Iris, as she and River watched the newcomer sipping tea with Panda at the other end of the bus.
"I don't know, he didn't say," River replied pointedly.
"Well, people don't tend to announce themselves by name when they take public transport," Iris considered reasonably. "But I thought your little book-"
"It doesn't tell me everything," River protested, flicking through the pages. "And he's not even necessarily anything to do with the Doctor. But if he is, he might be Danny the Fish."
"Who's he when he's at home?"
"He's the person who warned Mr Saldaamir when history was altered and Bernice Summerfield embarked on a romantic relationship with the eighth Doctor."
"Eee, I don't blame her."
"But I don't have access to a full account of that business, just a summary."
"Well, did your Danny Fish-man have a fish for a head?"
"I don't know, but with a name like that...."
"Ooh, I hope he's not Mack Salmon. I can't be having with that sort of thing at my time of life."
River shook her head. "No bowl." She stood up. "I think there's only one course of action that's going to inform us, here. And that's asking him."
She strode over to the tea-table.
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 13, 2021 14:58:07 GMT
Suddenly the corpse sat up! Clara screamed! “You idiot I am the real Doctor! My physiology just changed with the brain merger. Now give me my heart back Strax!” a very irritated and still corpse like 12 said. “Sorry” said a shocked Strax, handing 12 his heart back. “Clara could you please help me put my heart back in my chest?” the Doctor said his voice softening as to not frighten Clara anymore than she already was. Clara relieved but still in shock bent down to 12’s still open chest and placed his heart back into place. “Well this is a bit intimate” she joked. “A little more to the left. That’s it.” 12 instructed. Clara took her hand out 12’s chest.Then suddenly 12 sneezed and his chest healed and he was no longer corpse like. “Wait if you only have one heart now does that mean you’re human?” Clara asked. “Only slightly more human. When the brain merger happened I sort of ended up with a mixture of timelord and human physiology.” 12 said smiling. “But if you aren’t the imposter...” Clara said. 12 and Clara both turned to face Strax.
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 13, 2021 15:30:21 GMT
The Doctor ushered his companions into the Jade Pagoda, but before he could enter himself, to his horror the door slammed shut, and he saw the facility fall away from the TARDIS into space! He span around on his heel, and looked up. "What are you doing?" he screamed at the TARDIS. The one part of The Plan that was working, at least, was that the Doctor - the twelfth Doctor, the real one - was irrevocably trapped in the TARDIS, and could not regain control; Idris had him well and truly locked out of the transportational and dimensional controls.
He had, however, been able to tap into the Jade Pagoda's systems, and was watching - but powerless to intercede - the scene developing there.
"Logically, therefore," Strax was pronouncing, "perhaps *I* am the imposter! I recommend you place me under arrest immediately, and confine me to this box."
The Doctor, viewing this on the vidscreen, cringed. "You gullible Sontaran!" he cried impotently. The only hope was that if Clara saw through the fake Doctor... if, perhaps, she had taken note of Strax's warnings about the nature of the Obverse, and realised that things were not as they appeared to be.
The Doctor peered intently at the screen, watching as Clara and the fake Doctor stepped out of the Jade Pagoda into a field of walking sticks. It was snowing, upwards.
If Clara didn't spot that something was amiss, he'd cheerfully throttle her. Unfortunately, there was a strong risk that the fake him might very well do that anyway....
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 14, 2021 14:31:19 GMT
The flowers were singing. The sunshine was streaming down, sparkling off the rising snowflakes, and Clara was dancing arm-in-arm with her Doctor across the field. Was he finally the man she always dreamed he was?
In the distance, she could hear the merry drone of Strax, explaining at great length how he ought to be tortured in order to gain his secrets and reveal his sinister impostorial plan. In the foreground, she could hear the pluck-pluck-pluck of the flowers pulling their roots out of the ground, and the gnash-gnash-gnash as they approached, as the Doctor held her firmly...
***
Back in the TARDIS, the real Doctor had resorted to his two favourite tools for getting out of a jam - a blackboard, and talking to himself.
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 14, 2021 14:47:37 GMT
The real 12th Doctor was was upset, but he knew he needed to focus if he was ever going to win Clara back.
“Maybe I need to challenge my imposter with his knowledge of Clara. Then she will know that I am the real me.” 12 said to himself cocking one dark eyebrow quizzically.
“But how will I find her when I am trapped in here?” 12 said sulking.
Then suddenly he had an idea!
“If I write and sing a song for you as a peace making offer, will you help me find Clara?” 12 pleaded to the TARDIS.
This seamed to please the old girl.
12 started brainstorm a love song to his beloved blue box....
|
|
|
Post by grinch on Apr 14, 2021 19:36:41 GMT
Meanwhile back on the bus....
As River begun to make her way across the bus, the yet to be named Fish Gentleman was currently regaling Panda over a spot of tea.
“Of course, as I said to dear old Dodgson....” He paused. “You are aware of the Charles Dodgson I take it?”
Panda nodded and raised the mug to his lips. He grimaced as the foul tasting substance passed his lips. To be perfectly honest, he wasn’t really sure why he had agreed to take tea with this strange... whatever he was.
“Probably another one of Iris’s friends.” he thought gloomily.
But he had agreed and like it or lump it he now had to live with it. Besides, even if he wasn’t making pleasantries, tea really didn’t agree with him at the best of times. Now a good sherry on the other hand....
He cast a wistful eye over to the (unfortunately) locked drinks cabinet as the Fish Headed Gentleman continued to ramble on...
“Where was I? Ah yes! As I said to dear old Dodgson, the solution to the riddle is quite simple...”
He stopped as he noticed River Song standing over the pair of them, watching them both with great interest.
“Oh, begging your pardon Madam. How rude of me” said the Fish Headed Gentleman placing his mug and saucer down. Only to then pick up a small plate of biscuits off the table and hold them out towards her.
“Care for a bourbon?”
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 15, 2021 11:58:32 GMT
Clara struggled as the flowers approached!
How could her beloved Doctor do such a thing?
But then it dawned on her, this Doctor was fully dressed, but the Doctor had never put his clothes back on!
**************
Meanwhile the real 12 was trying desperately to come up with the the right song lyrics for his song for his TARDIS.....
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 15, 2021 17:09:40 GMT
The phone rang, and Panda picked up the two halves of the reciever and held them to his ear and mouth. "Hallo? Who? Really? Why? Oh, I see.... Is that a good idea? Oh, well... Yes, I'll tell them."
He replaced the candlestick phone. "Idris is out," he announced.
"WHAT?!" raged River.
"Yes, apparently the Doctor is writing her a love-song, and she's taking him to the Obverse to pick up... I think she said, 'the most romantic backing singers in any universe'. Apparently she'd just seen some in a field of walking sticks and just had to hire them." He paused. "At least, I think that's what she said. It doesn't sound *awfully* likely, I suppose."
"Ooh, you never can trust these Type 40s," Iris complained. "Just don't have the reliability of my old bus."
The fish-headed man, who'd been listening to this exchange with some amusement, rose. "I think," he said, "it's time for me to deliver.... *this*."
He reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled out a huge and ornate card. It appeared to be an invitation.
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 16, 2021 12:28:24 GMT
“ Why aren’t you still in your underpants?!” Clara yelled as the false 12 held her *************** The real 12 was struggling with coming up with enough lyrics to rhyme with blue box for the TARDIS’s love song and now he had a group of the universe’s most romantic back up singers to teach the song to!
He had better finish writing this song and preform it for Idris before it was too late for Clara, 12 thought!
Poor Clara, he would need to write her a song when all this is over. But would she ever have him back?
Meanwhile things in the Doctor’s brain were becoming a bit chaotic....
|
|
|
Post by grinch on Apr 16, 2021 15:51:30 GMT
Back on the bus River Song carefully took the invitation from the Fish-Headed Gentleman.
Tentatively, she opened it and was soon joined by Iris Wildthyme. And together in complete silence they perused it’s contents.
‘Well, what does it say?!” blurted out an impatient Panda before the Fish-Headed Gentleman had any chance of beginning another one of his long anecdotes.
“It appears” remarked River Song. “That we have been invited for a game of croquet.”
There was a short silence which was only interrupted by the sound of the Fish-Headed Gentleman politely asking;
“Is there any chance of some more tea?”
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 16, 2021 17:57:08 GMT
The false Doctor was squeezing the life out of Clara, and she could feel the teeth of the flowers pecking at her legs, and as her vision blurred she thought she heard... the TARDIS?
Then the Doctor was choking. His fingers released Clara's neck and she fell away. She looked up to witness the fake Doctor's death rattle, and he fell to the ground, to reveal standing behind him the figure of Missy.
"How disappointing," she complained. "I've dreamed of doing that all my life, and it just doesn't live up to the reality." She peered down at Clara. "Get up, do, I'm not going to kill you. Not now. Kind of surfeited at the moment. That dreadful Song woman sent me round on a wild goose chase... I met this *tiresome* little girl called Emma, who was apparently going to marry the ninth Doctor. Well, *I* didn't recognise him. Anyway, she was nauseatingly sweet, I just *had* to kill her. *Everything* she said was nice, so she fell foul of that rule before I even had time to speak.... Oh, get up, the *real* Doctor's just over there."
She pointed, and Clara turned to see the Doctor's TARDIS, its doors wide open, with the maneating flowers streaming inside. They were gathering around the prone body of the document, and hummed in unison.
"Doctor!" cried Clara, rising from the ground.
"Oh, he's fine," Missy reassured her. "He's just in one of those self-indulgent psychic comas, communing with his other selves. Trust me, you'd never catch *me* doing that. I think he's trying to find a rhyme for 'box'. I might suggest 'Spocks'."
She noticed Clara backing away.
"Don't worry, you're off the hook," Missy said. "If those two don't want me in their little gang, I'm going to ruin things for *them*. They didn't really want me to recruit anybody, and I *hate* having my time wasted. We're going to meet at Philippi, on the croquet-field of battle. And," she confided, "I do mean BATTLE". She sighed. "Oh, wake him up. But don't let him sing, for heaven's sake."
They entered the TARDIS and closed the doors behind them. Shortly afterward, it dematerialised, as did the Jade Pagoda, leaving a rather confused Strax alone and trapped in the wrong universe.
This could be a problem.
But he brightened, when he realised he now had sole responsibility for bringing an entire dimension under the sway of the mighty Sontaran empire. He plucked one of the walking-stick plants, and began to sharpen the end.
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 17, 2021 12:42:58 GMT
Clara walked over to 12 who was deep in his psychic coma. “Doctor” she said softly gently tapping him on the shoulder.
For a minute something strange happened, 12’s hair turned back to being grey and lines appeared on his face as though the brain merger hadn’t happened, but then he turned back into the dark haired smooth skinned young man a moment later. But, he still didn’t wake up.
“Doctor, what’s happening in that brain of yours?” Clara said worriedly.
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 17, 2021 12:54:35 GMT
Long, long ago.....
When, aeons ago, the war amongst the stars fought between the Sontarans and the Rutan first spread, no part of the universe was not touched, not even the Ringpull.
When the Sontarans discovered that the Rutan forces had fortified the Ringpull, they deduced that the Rutan Queen had been secreted in the Obverse, and pursued her. It was, of course, a trap.
But the fighting was intense, and the only survivors of the battle to pass through into the Obverse were a single Rutan, and a handful of battle-scarred Sontaran warriors, and they pursued each other through the new cosmos. The Sontarans built cloning vats to increase their number, and the Rutan increased its numbers by division.
But separated from the main Sontaran forces, and from the Rutan gestalt, for so long, the two foes began to evolve and devolve over the ages. The Rutan ultimately became almost animals, shapechanging predators that consumed the Sontarans and took on elements of their being, and whcih continued to spread through the Obverse, draining images from the minds of its prey and impersonating creatures to lure them to their doom. It could no longer breed new copies of itself, although when its blood was spilled the tiny singing toothed flowers sprouted from every drop.
But all things pass. Now there was only one of the creatures left. It had failed in its attempt to kill Clara by impersonating the Doctor - being shot by Strax and strangled by Missy had, however, only slowed and not stopped it. Hiding within the TARDIS, it chose a new form.
"Stand aside, boy, I am a trained nurse," the creature lied. It drew from its Sontaran-issue medibag a sharp lazer scalpel, and knelt by the prone body of the the Doctor, extending psychic tendrils into his mind....
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 18, 2021 12:43:06 GMT
“Stop! You could hurt him!” Clara yelled, grabbing imposter Strax’s scalpel before he could use it on 12.
“Clara” 12 said, still deep in a psychic trance.
“Can you hear me Doctor?” Clara asked.
12, eyes still closed, suddenly stood up and picked up his guitar and began to sing....
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 18, 2021 19:17:46 GMT
When Seb first went to work for Missy, he'd understood his role to be essentially a desk job; a bit of front-of-house, perhaos, but by no means manual labour. Laying croquet lawns wasn't part of it.
He lent on his spade as he viewed his handywork. A green lawn, rolled and mown, with little metal hoops and wooden stakes here and there. To the side of the lawn, an assortment of creatures - mostly birds - looked on. He glared at them; Seb did not trust the flamingos.
He straightened up, and picked up his spade once more. Carefully removing a segment of turf, he dug a small hole. Then he carefully picked up a landmine, placed it gently in the hole, and replaced the turf,
It was lucky he was only an artificial intelligence. This was dangerous work.
|
|
|
Post by timegirl on Apr 19, 2021 12:38:48 GMT
12, in a trance sang a song that was beautiful but incomprehensible to human ears. The universe’s most romantic back up singers accompanied him.
It was powerful enough to make the false Strax expload!
Clara didn’t seem to notice the explosion though, even if she could not understand the lyrics, 12’s song made her feel as though it would all be okay.
Idris was mad wasn’t her Doctor meant to sing to her?
|
|
|
Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 19, 2021 15:14:24 GMT
The song concluded, the Doctor's backing singers took their bow, and began to mill around the corpse of not-Strax. Never mind that it had been their parent, the killer flowers bent down and began to devour the corpse.
Missy sneered at the scene. "Somebody needs to clear that up, and it's not going to be me."
She turned back to her mobile phone, on whcih she had been speaking. "Now, Seb, remember there'll be two players, River Song and Iris Wildthyme."
The TARDIS rocked, as though it had hit a bump in the vortex.
"Make that three players," Missy considered. "I think Idris wants our Clara Oswald to play, too. Now, remember, this is supposed to be an eeevil scheme, so-." She paused, interrupted. "Who's called? Joel Glazer? I *said*, we're supposed to be running *evil* schemes, so tell him 'Arsenal' and 'Spurs'. I'm relying on you, convince him they're the best teams. Now, get on with it, we'll be arriving shortly."
She snapped her mobile phone shut, and looked down upon the Doctor. Was he beginning to come round?
"I suppose *I'll* have to find him some clothes," she muttered, and wandered off into the TARDIS's corridors.
|
|