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Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 26, 2021 14:23:40 GMT
Clara started to sob. The song was so beautiful, it expressed all the emotions she had sought from teh Doctor all this time.
(Those on the ground, at least those who could make out the actual words that the gigantic Doctor was booming out, thought it all a bit mawkish, but these things are subjective at best).
The Doctor put away his guitar, took out a silk handkerchief, and wiped Clara's eyes.
"Time we got back to normal," he said, which was true enough. In the last few hours, Clara had seen the Doctor killed twice, and had herself ben brainwashed twice.
The Doctor reached down to the ground and flicked the Caterpillar off his mushroom with a finger and thumb. Then the Doctor pulled hte mushroom out of the ground, straightened up, broke the mushroom in two in his hands, threw away one side, broke the remaining portion in half again, and gave half to Clara.
"Eat this," he said, demonstrating.
Soon the two were back to normal size... unfortunately, and this is someting they ought to have spotted earlier, the croquet green and its environs were now awash with Clara's tears. Surprisingly deep, in fact; it was like falling into an ocean that filled the horizon.
"Help!" Panda cried. "Iris has gone off with the bus and I can't swim!"
Frobisher endeavoured to turn himself into a penguin-shaped flotation device for the Doctor and Clara, and began to paddle to Panda's rescue.
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Post by timegirl on Apr 26, 2021 14:44:52 GMT
Suddenly remembering that they were in the land of fiction, Clara came up with an idea!
“Take my hand, we have to jump in the water.” Clara said to 12.
“What?” 12 said confused but taking Clara’s hand anyways.
The two jumped into the water and all of a sudden they found themselves growing fishtails and gills. 12 and Clara had become merpeople!
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Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 26, 2021 15:27:32 GMT
The TARDIS was bobbing up and down in the water. Panda and Frobisher pulled themselves onto it... and so did the Doctor.
The three of them looked down at Clara, ineffectually splashing and carrying on a conversation with nobody they could see.
"OK, explain that," said the Doctor, pointing.
"Well..." Panda said doubtfully. "She seems to think she's in the Land of Fiction, and you and she have turned into fish."
"Are we in the Land of Fiction?" the Doctor asked.
"No," said Panda.a
"No," said Frobisher.
"No," said the Doctor, "I didn't think so. As I recall, I made the point of checking."
"No," said Frobisher, "this planet is a congruent reality accessible only by time-space craft and anomalies, and the execution of advance mathematics. Charles Dodgson, the eminent Earth mathematician, visited here in the ninetheenth century."
"That explains some of the drivel you were spouting earlier," observed Panda.
"So, why's Clara all.... whatever she is?" the Doctor asked.
Frobisher sighed. "I don't think that's Clara. I think that's the Gwanzalum again. They feed on psychic brainwaves, and I think that by trying to convince people they're in a land of make-believe, it increases the imagination and thought-processes, and increases the feast. She's obviously trying to ensnare you in a delusion in order to feed on your mind.... I wonder why it hasn't worked?"
The Doctor stuck a finger in his ear and waggled it about. "I'm all bunged up with sea-water."
"That's as good as explanation as any," Panda muttered, "but you're missing the most important question. Where's the *real* Clara?"
* * * *
A few miles away, Clara clung to a bouy, floating incongruously in the middle of the boundless ocean. In the distance, she could see a dot, and it was growing bigger. A ship? Rescue? But what about the others? What about the Doctor, whose heart had held all those beautiful emotions?
The
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Post by timegirl on Apr 26, 2021 16:23:21 GMT
A big black ship picked up the real Clara! The ship’s captain hoisted her up by her dress it was none other than Missy, Missy the pirate!
“What do we have here Seb?” Missy said motioning over to the parrot on her shoulder.
“Intruder” the parrot yelled.
“It seems like you had a bit of a makeover. Well times up Cinderella.” Missy said and then she took out a bag of evil black magic dust.
Missy held Clara down as she sprinkled it all over her. Clara screamed in horror as her beautiful white dress turned back into her dowdy black Queen Victoria dress, her dark hair began to grey, and her body began to swell up. Clara had transformed back into old Queen Victoria!
Missy tied Queen Victoria/Clara to the mast tightly until she couldn’t move.
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Post by grinch on Apr 26, 2021 21:13:09 GMT
Elsewhere....
Still sat on the TARDIS were the Doctor, Panda and Frobisher. On one side sat the Doctor, hunched over and lost in thought whilst on another sat Panda partaking in a bit of fishing with Frobisher who had in the meantime had taken the shape of a fishing rod. Whistling merrily as he did so.
“Here, do you think we should say something?” muttered Frobisher gesturing over to the Doctor.
“Best not” replied Panda, not taking his eyes off the water for a second. “I think in this case discretion would be the better part of valour.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so.” said Panda. “And do stop moving, you’re scaring the fish.”
Frobisher sighed and relaxed.
“And our evil doppelgänger?”
Panda glanced over to where the Gwanzulum still lost in its hallucination was bobbing about in the water.
“Still away with the fairies.”
“Good, good.”
There was a brief silence. Suddenly, Frobisher let out a loud shout as he felt himself suddenly being pulled in one direction.
“I think we’ve got something here!” cried Frobisher as he began to thrash about.
“Righto!” said Panda as he stood up with great difficulty and with all his might frantically tried to reel his catch in.
The ripples in the water increased until it exploded upwards as something surfaced, knocking Panda back as it did so.
Getting back to his feet, Panda ran over to the side (joined by an extremely dazed Frobisher who had now returned to his penguin form) only to see, bobbing in the water, none other than a 22 Bus to Putney Common with a woman sat in the front seat wearing a snorkel.
“IRIS!” cried out Panda.
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Post by timegirl on Apr 26, 2021 23:11:02 GMT
“Panda! You left me!” Iris complained
“I can explain! Panda defended.
“Umm guys?!” Frobisher shouted trying desperately get their attention.
Panda and Iris’s heads turned to what Frobisher was pointing at. The false Clara had begun singing a siren song to 12. He stared at the creature entranced and then began to take his shirt and trousers off until he was in his question mark underpants. Then he dove into the water with the false Clara and began to sing with her.
“When did my sweet Doctor get so buff?” Iris interrupted distracted admiring, the young Doctor’s rather nice physique bobbing in the water with the false Clara.
“Iris your missing the point!” snapped Panda.
“Doc!?” Frobisher yelled trying to get 12 to snap out of it.
But they were too late, 12 was now snogging the false Clara!
............ Meanwhile the real Clara was trying to stay positive, which was a difficult task to do having been forcibly transformed back into the old and fat Queen Victoria and tied to the mast of a ship.
“The Doctor will come back, he had to after a beautiful song like that.” Clara thought.
Then she began to despair thinking about even if he found her what if there was no more magic dust?
He was so young and handsome now, could he really love her if she was stuck as a fat old woman?
Then she remembered everything he had said, of course he would! It made no difference to him what she looked like!
Even so she would love to change back, if it was an option. For one thing it did make things difficult and uncomfortable at this age and size.
Just then her thoughts were interrupted by the fearsome Pirate Missy.
“Hello your Majesty. I thought you would like to see what your boyfriend is up to” Missy said tauntingly pulling out a crystal ball.
In the ball, she could see the scantily clad Doctor and false Clara snogging in the water.
A single tear ran down the real Clara’s cheek.
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Post by grinch on Apr 27, 2021 18:08:54 GMT
Panda and Frobisher peered over the side of the TARDIS at the Doctor.
“What did you do to him?” inquired Panda.
“Nothing!” said Frobisher.
“Are you quite sure? Nothing in that dust of yours that have might have brought on this rather... affectionate display?” pressed Panda.
“Nothing whatsoever.” he replied. He scratched his chin with a flipper. “At least I don’t think there was.”
Panda eyed him suspiciously for a moment before returning his attention back to the Doctor.
“Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I can’t recall him ever acting like this before.”
“You sure?” asked Frobisher.
“I think I have would remembered.” answered Panda with just the merest hint of sarcasm in his voice.
The pair looked on.
“You know, they do say time changes a person. A Time Lord even more so.” said Frobisher.
“Oh, don’t get all philosophical on me. I’ve already got a splitting headache and I haven’t had any brandy yet.” replied Panda.
“Besides, I think we best help Iris before she springs a leak.” he said, gesturing over to the bus.
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Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 27, 2021 18:25:19 GMT
"Why is he doing this?" demanded Clara.
"Oh, don't be a muggins all your life," Missy replied. "The Doctor's a flibbertigibbet. Always chasing after some new tail... and this one's actually got one!"
Clara spun round to face Missy. "You think I'm stupid? That's the... alien-thing, again! It's doing something to him!"
"So I see..." Missy said archly. Then she sighed. "Yes, it's all the shapechanging pixie creature's doing. But, newsflash! The Doctor likes shapechanging pixie creature! That penguin? He's a shapechanging pixie creature! And as for the talking teddy-bear,well.. how many talking teddy-bears do *you* know? Shapechanging pixie creature."
Clara gritted her teeth. "You're evil."
"Why, thank you."
"So you'll have weapons. Where are they? I'm gonig to kill those monsters once and for all!"
Missy was rather pleased. She hadn't expected anything quite so fun happening...
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Post by timegirl on Apr 27, 2021 19:03:26 GMT
The real Clara was determined to kill her imposter once and for all! If weapons didn’t work than perhaps she could sit on top of the creature to death, maybe her extra Queen Victoria sized girth would actually be good for something! Thinking of her current transformation Clara thought about how she going to change back into her normal young and svelte self. Perhaps if Missy had black magic dust she also had the gold magic dust lying around somewhere on the ship.....
..........
Meanwhile 12 was still snogging the false Clara and hadn’t come up for air yet! Not only that but like the false Clara he had somehow grown a fish tale! 12 was now a merman!
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Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 28, 2021 15:09:22 GMT
"Spring a leak?" Iris was offended. "My old bus is watertight and fully submersible, didn't you know?"
With some clever driving, she surfaced right underneath the TARDIS, lifting it and Panda and Frobisher above the waterline. They scrambled down into the bus which was, indeed, bone dry.
"Where's River Song gone?" Panda asked, looking about.
"Oh, she's having a lie down, poor dear," Iris answered, "in her prison cell. Some kind men came and took her away. Now, how about some tea?"
"NO!" cried Panda.
"Gin?" Iris said, winking.
Panda flung himself at the bottle.
"Now, while he's keeping body and soul together," Iris said, turning to Frobisher, "what the bloody hell's going on?"
Frobisher sighed. "I'll start at the beginning... or, rather, I won't. I'm on a case, working for the Council of Eight."
"And who are they when they're at home?"
"They're at home at the end of the universe," Frobisher explained, "and that's the problem. Apparently, Clara is fated to become an immortal, roaming all of time and space forever looking for something interesting to keep her spirits up, and they don't like what she's up to in their temporal neck of the woods."
"Why?"
"Well, at the end of all things all the precious items of the universe have been accumulated together," Frobisher continued, "whcih is why, incidentally, they can afford to pay me. But Clara and her little friend Ashildr broke into the vault and stole an Amaranth, and ground it down into magic powder. Then they went off throughout time and space spreading chaos."
"What's an Amaranth?" asked Panda, coming up for air.
"Ooh, we 'ad one of those back on Karn," Iris remembered. "Great fun. Used it to put Morbius together again, then apartn, then together, then apart.. .Eee, 'ee wasn't half annoyed."
"It's a Time Lord device," Frobisher explained, "that allows you to reduce randomness and irrationality, and bring htings to order. But it can also be used in reverse, and future-Clara will use it to make weird things happen, give herself magic powers and turn herself into any animal or thing. A few scraps of dust were left behind, and I used them earlier to make things right, but it looks like that didn't work out for long."
"So, you're trying to stop a different Clara to the one we've got?" Panda asked, confused.
"Pretty much," said Frobisher, "but I'm hoping if we can fix all these crazy things here and now, the Doctor can help stop her future madness."
Panda considered this. "I need another drink."
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Post by timegirl on Apr 28, 2021 19:53:55 GMT
“Sorry to interrupt but I think something fishy is going on. “ Iris said pointing out the window.
Frobisher and Panda turned to look, 12 and the false Clara now really were both merpeople and were now flirting relentlessly with each other under water.
“The Doctor seems to be taking to be a merman rather well! You know what they say about long tails?” Iris observed.
“Iris?” Panda facepalmed.
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Post by grinch on Apr 28, 2021 19:59:37 GMT
“....They make excellent jump ropes?” said Frobisher with a wry grin on his face.
Panda and Iris gave him a blank look.
“Seriously? No one?”
Their expressions remained unchanged as Frobisher shrugged his shoulders.
“I guess Whifferdill humour just isn’t for everyone.”
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Post by timegirl on Apr 28, 2021 20:11:05 GMT
Frobisher ran out of the bus and shouted “ Doc that’s not your girl!”
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Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 29, 2021 17:35:46 GMT
Frobisher dived into the water, transforming as he did so into a sort of spiny octopus. He threw his tentacles around the Gwanzalum, and wrestled it off the Doctor.
"What are you doing, you bird-brained idiot?" the Doctor exclaimed.
"Saving your life!"
"My life was perfectly safe," the Doctor protested. "Do you think I do this sort of thing for fun?"
Panda, watching from the bus, restrained himself from answering this question.
"I had a plan, I always have a plan," the Doctor continued. "The poor creature was dying.. I was transferring my abherrent John Smith persona into it, make it into a proper creature wiht a proper life, no longer a parasite, and give Clara the young and loving Doctor she's alway wanted."
"I keep telling you," Frobisher said, releasing the creature, "how creepy that is! Just give your girls a robot dog, it saves so much trouble in the long run."
The Gwanzalum floated, face down, in the water.
"Look out!" cried Panda, who'd spotted something approaching.
Suddenly, a shark reared out fo the water and tore the Gwanzalum apart.
Frobisher quickly turned into a balloon, picked up the Doctor, and drifted to bus and safety.
"Oh, that's just perfect," the Doctor snapped, looking down at the bloody scene. "The whole thing's gone for a burton, now. How am I supposed to fix Clara now?"
"People don't need fixing, lovey," Iris called up to him as the balloon descended. "Except your legs, of course."
"These?" the Doctor asked. "Just a temporary body bepple, they'll be unfished in no time. I told you, I had all this under control."
"But what about fixing Clara?" Iris asked. "I mean, I wanted to fix her little red wagon, but you're not the same kind of person as me."
"We've got more important things to worry about than Clara's immediate future," Frobisher snapped, turning back to pengion form atop the TARDIS. "It's far-future Clara that's my concern."
The Doctor sighed, and sat by throwing his fish-tail over the side of the time-space ship. "That *is* far-future Clara, that's the problem. I took her away from Ashildr to sort her out, but-"
"Hang on," Frobisher protested. "You shouldn't know about that."
"Why?" the Doctor asked. "Because it's in the future? No, it isn't. Clara's already a fixed point in time right now."
"But she wiped your memory of her."
"But she left gaps, and I found out about her," the Doctor explained. "And then I wiped *her* mind, made her into the old happy Clara again. I was taking her around some of the mad parts of the galaxy, trying to use up the magic powers that enfused her when she stole that Aramanth, but-"
"NOW HEAR THIS! NOW HEAR THIS!"
The Doctor, Iris, Frobisher and Panda turned to see, appearing out of nowhere through the mists, Missy's pirate ship. And at the prow, Clara, with a huge harpoon gun.
"You've stolen the Doctor from me!" she screamed. "You shapechanging monsters. Well, I'm going to kill you now!"
"She's got wish-fulfilment magic powers," the Doctor muttered. "If she thinks that thing will destroy the bus and the TARDIS and us, it will."
His legs having returned, he stepped forward to the edge to plead his case. Next to him, Frobisher took the form of the eleventh Doctor to do the same.
"I really wouldn't listen to them," said Brian the Ood, standing behind Clara in his brand-new uniform identifying him as gunnery officer to Captain Missy. "Those aren't the Docotr, they killed the Doctor. They're just images from the past."
Clara gritted her teeth. She wasn't going to take this from shadows of what had once been. She reached for teh controls. Brian suddenly felt deja-vu.
"Fire!"
* * * *
But the shot never came. Instead, there was just a big crunch, as a huge grey frigate appeared out of the mists and creashed straight through the pirate ship. Missy and Clara and Brian and the crew all fell into the sea as the wooden ship broke into two and fell apart, under the waves.
As teh frigate passed, the Doctor read the name off the side. He had a nasty feeling he recognised the corrageted-iron hull..
"H... M... S... T... R... O... U... T... B... R... I..."
As the ship passed, a voice called down from the bridge. "Sorry pardon!"
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Post by grinch on Apr 29, 2021 17:47:23 GMT
Brian the Ood suddenly surfaced and begun thrashing about.
“Mr Ball? Has anyone seen Mr. Ball?”
He looked at his left hand where the translator orb was held.
“Oh, there you are. Now don’t ever do that again, you know you can’t swim” said Brian reproachfully.
Mr Ball, in response, said nothing.
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Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 29, 2021 19:33:47 GMT
(Self-indulgent? Me?)
GRAMS: “Trade Wind Hornpipe”
ANNOUNCER: We present “The Navy Lark”, with our three stars, Jon Pertwee, Leslie Philips, and Stephen Murray!
ANNOUNCER: If there’s one thing that Captain Povey dreads, it’s news of Troutbridge. If there’s two things he dreads, it’s news that Troutbridge has been assigned a special mission. And if there’s three things he dreads, it’s Troutbridge going out on a special mission and not coming back. For the ship’s company have been assigned the task of transporting a replacement complement of prison guards to Fortress Island, the sinister prison that keeps cribbed, cabined and confined that sinister oriental genius, the Master. But what they don’t know – and what Captain Povey doesn’t know – is that the supposed commando-trained expert guards are actually alien rhinoceros, equipped with personal shroud-fields to disguise themselves as humans and with a waiver from the Shadow Proclamation allowing them to operate on Earth. All the Royal Navy have been told is that they work for a private military company called… “Judoon”. And all Captain Povey knows is that neither he nor anybody else has heard anything from them all in four days.
CPO PERTWEE: What was that, Mr Boyle? I’m sorry, I’m wasn’t paying attention. Something about our guests from the Judoon Company?
ANNOUNCER; Never mind, Chief, it’s not me you should be paying attention to. With all this thick fog, it’s right ahead you need to be concentrating on.
CPO PERTWEE: True enough. I don’t like it, sir, I don’t like it. Not a sight of land in four days, and not a sniff of a signal on the radio. And now thick fog all-abouts us.
LT. MURRAY: Thick fog. I suppose this could be Dover?
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Of course it can’t be Dover. You can’t get from Pompey to Fortress Island via Dover.
CPO PERTWEE: The way you navigate, sir, you could get from Pompey to Fortress Island by anywhere.
LT. MURRAY: Well, perhaps we ought to slow down a bit, just in case this is Dover. We don’t want to collide with anybody.
CPO PERTWEE: Why break the ‘abit of a lifetime, sirs?
LT. MURRAY: Slow ahead both.
CPO PERTWEE: Slow ahead both it is, sir.
FX: Engine Order Telegraph bell
FX: Ship’s telephone.
LT. MURRAY: Bridge, Number One speaking.
LS GOLDSTEIN: Starboard lookout ‘ere, sir, Leading Seaman Goldstein chattin’. Although I don’t know what I’m supposed to be starboard looking at, the fog’s so thick. I’d’ve thought somebody’d got up a good head of steam off a load of decent Welsh coal, except there’s no heat. Couldn’t I swop with Able Seaman Johnson, he’s got enough blubber on him to keep him warm.
LT. MURRAY: I’m sure Johnson’s busy enough at the moment.
CPO PERTWEE: (Yelp)
LT. MURRAY: In fact I’m sure he is. I may visit the Stores later and find out what with.
CPO PERTWEE: There’s no need to do, that sir, let me assure you….
LT. MURRAY: Just keep an eye out, there could be any number of ships out there.
LS GOLDSTEIN: Aye-aye sir.
CPO PERTWEE: There’s nothing out there, sir. Nothing. We’re lost, lost forever!
LT. MURRAY: Calm down, chief, I’m sure we’ll sight land soon enough.
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Maybe there isn’t. Maybe we’ve gone… through the Woebetides.
CPO PERTWEE: (Yelp) The Woebetides? Then we’ll be lost forever! Lost on some distant world with never a hope of getting home! Marooned on the moon with all those Judoon!
LT MURRAY: Don’t be ridiculous, the Woebetides are just a sailor’s myth.
LT. PHILIPS: Well, this sailor heard all about them on the radio. I tuned in because it was supposed to be about dinosaurs but it wasn’t, it was about this ship that went into the Woebetides and saw all strange manner of things in this bizarre and strange place from which nobody has ever returned home… till the end, when they returned home.
LT. MURRAY: I’m… I’m sure everything’s fine. It’s just foggy, that’s all. And the radio’s always breaking, I’m sure Lieutenant Bates will have it fixed soon. Just keep an eye out ahead.
CPO PERTWEE: (screams)
FX: Almighty crash.
LT. MURRAY: What the blue blazes was that?
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: I say, we’ve hit someone.
FX: Ship’s telephone.
LT. MURRAY: Bridge, Number One speaking.
LS GOLDSTEIN: Starboard lookout ‘ere, sir, Leading Seaman Goldstein chattin’. I don’t know how to tell you this, but you know when I tell you we’re passing a London bus on the starboard side, and it always means that Mr Philips has taken us up the Thames by mistake? Well, take a look now. It’s not the kind of wreckage we’re used to, take it from me.
LT. MURRAY: Good grief. There’s a double-decker bus just floating there.
CPO PERTWEE: With people on it! Aagh! This really is the Woebetides!
LT. MURRAY: Sorry pardon!
LS GOLDSTEIN: Heh, heh. That one that looks like a badger doesn’t seem to want to accept your apology. Yaki-da.
LT. MURRAY: Quick, stop engines.
CPO PERTWEE: Stop engines it is, sir.
FX: Engine Order Telegraph bell
LT. MURRAY: I can’t see anything in this fog.
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Except that penguin that’s swimming past.
LT. MURRAY: Oh, no we can’t be in the Antarctic.
CPO PERTWEE: Beggin’ your pardon, sir, but we’ve not stopped.
LT. MURRAY: What? What are they up to down there?
FX: Ship’s telephone.
LT. MURRAY: Engine room? It's Number One here, I ordered 'stop all engines'.
LT. QUEEG: Ah, good day to you.
LT MURRAY: Stop all engines at once!
LT. QUEEG: Ah, there’s the thing. I’d like to oblige you, truly I would, you see, but it’s the Lad…
LT MURRAY: Oh, no.
LT. QUEEG: He’s a good lad, no question, a good lad, but he will eat fruit. And it doesn’t agree with him, it doesn’t, something powerful. I’m sure he’ll be along in a minute, he’s very conscientious, but he is the one who understands all the technical gubbins, or whatever they are, and until he can head this way and away from the head, so-to-speak…
LT MURRAY: Oh, never mind. I don’t think we’d find them in this fog now anywhere.
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: We wouldn’t want to stop for people, not the kind of people you find in the Woebetides.
LT MURRAY: For the last time, we are not in the Woebetides.
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Well, there’s one good piece of evidence that we are, sir.
LT MURRAY: What’s that?
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Pertwee’s uncle Ebenezer hasn’t turned up to claim salvage on that ship we hit.
CPO PERTWEE: That is a foul calumony and slur upon the good name of the – on the other hand, sir, Mr Philips does make a good point.
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Wait a minute, no. Look, the fog’s clearing. I can see light shining through.
CPO PERTWEE: Er, sir, that’s not just any light-
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Be quiet, Pertwee, let me see if I can make anything out…
CPO PERTWEE: EVERYBODY DOWN!
FX: crunch.
LT. MURRAY: We’ve run aground.
CPO PERTWEE: That’s what I was trying to say, sir, that’s a beam from a lighthouse.
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: That’s good news, there’s a lighthouse on the way to Fortress Island. We’re not in the Woebetides at all! I know how to carry on from here.
LT. MURRAY: So do I. By waiting till the radio’s fixed so we can call Captain Povey to send Makepeace to pull us off this sandbank.
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: I don’t feel very well.
LT. MURRAY: Well, how do you think Captain Povey’s going to feel when he hears you explain why you managed to get Troutbridge stuck on a sandbank protected by a lighthouse, after being missing for four days?
SUB-LT. PHILIPS: Ooh, nasty.
GRAMS: “Trade Wind Hornpipe”
ANNOUNCER: And that was Jon Pertwee, Leslie Philips, and Stephen Murray, lost in the fog in “The Navy Lark”, written by Laurie Wyman and George Evans. Stephen Murray was the Number One, Leslie Philips was the Sub-Lieutenant, Jon Pertwee the Chief Petty Officer, and Taffy Goldstein was played by Tenniel Evans. The recorded production was by Alastair Scott-Johnson.
* * *
The ‘sinister Oriental criminal genius’ known only as The Master sat in a comfortable chair, in his comfortable room, in the private gaol constructed long ago for one of his earlier selves, on Fortress Island. When he’d been but a clever boy, he’d rather enjoyed the excitement and danger of the Time War, fighting Daleks with Abslom Daak and that grumpy Doctor who wouldn’t call himself Doctor, but now that this incarnation had aged up a bit, he found the peace and quiet – and safety – of his old familiar home with all his old familiar things about him much more appealing. He reached out for his toy Clanger, and squeezed. “Boo boo-boo,” it said, “boo boo-boo boo boo boo-boo.” He smiled. Still, he had an inkling that the new set of guards who were due to arrive might be a cut above what he was used to; perhaps it was time to move on.
There was a scratching at the window. He turned to see a soaked-through and bedraggled Missy hanging from the window sill. “Well,” she cried, “are you going to let me in or am I going to let you out?”
He smiled. “You clever girl.”
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Post by timegirl on Apr 29, 2021 20:50:22 GMT
Meanwhile 12 and Clara had just washed up on a deserted island.
Clara still was trapped in the form of old Queen Victoria and 12 had given up his John Smith persona costing him his youth to the creature who was eaten by the shark.
Clara spit out sea water, “ At least we are alive.”
“I’m sorry” 12 said.
“Why?” Clara asked
“I tried to fix things for you give you the young loving Doctor you always wanted but all went wrong.”12 said distraught.
“ Doctor, it’s you I care about. To be honest I kind missed my grey haired stick insect. If anything I’m the failure being stuck like this.” Clara said disparingly at her still plump and aged body.
12 smiled, “ Clara, let me remind you, I could never see you any differently.”
Clara tears in her eyes, leaned over closer to 12 affectionately, just t then they both realized they were both bleeding and could feel the sea salt irritating their wounds.
“ Maybe we should find a stream or something to wash off before anything else.” Clara said
They ventured forth into the hot jungle for what seemed like hours and then suddenly they saw it a beautiful lagoon with a waterfall.
“This seems like what you were looking for Clara!” 12 said beaming.
“Not that I’m much to look at right now but could you turn around while I get undressed” Clara said trying to undo her dress.
“ I don’t see why, but if you insist your, Majesty.” 12 said cheekily.
They both changed out their clothes and jumped into the water. It was just the thing, the cool water felt good on 12 and Clara’s skin. It also had other affects. 12 and Clara were both enjoying themselves so much that neither one had realized that they had changed!
That is until Clara noticed her reflection in the water and realized the water had not only healed her wounds but had transformed her back into her normal young and svelte and very un-Queen Victoria like self. Clara gasped, then she realized out of modesty she had not looked 12’s way while he bathed. She turned around quickly and as had suspected, 12 had been similarly affected by the water. In place of her grey haired stick insect, was a toned dark haired young man.
“What?” 12 said, seeing Clara’s face blushing.
“Doctor, I think we may have found the fountain of youth! Let’s step out though before we get any younger” Clara said astonished.
“Oh so we did.” 12 said smiling, stepping out and lending a hand to Clara.
Both 12 and Clara soon realized that their clothes would no longer fit. Clara’s Queen Victoria dress was massive on her and 12 had slightly too toned to fit into his clothes. But before 12 and Clara could do anything about it they found themselves caught in a massive net!
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Post by fitzoliverj on Apr 30, 2021 13:48:21 GMT
As the Doctor hung upside down, in a net, he wondered quite how he'd got there. Was this the deeply-held desire of Clara's secret heart as developed by her unconcious wishing power (which would be a problem), or had they genuinely fallen in to somebody else's trap (whcih would be a different problem). Maybe he could subtly lead her to subconciously wishing for rescue, or for the TARDIS to appear, or to be travelling all of time and space with a devil-may-care Time Lord who definitely does not look like a badger and who, perhaps, might have had a hot bath and a nice meal and a good night's sleep.
Then he saw a figure approaching. His eyes widened as he saw who it was.
* * *
"OH-NO-THO-MO-STO-HOS-OSCO'D!" cried the Judoon, as they inspected the Master's oubliette, and found it empty, with a large window conspicuosuly thrown open.
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Post by grinch on Apr 30, 2021 17:00:29 GMT
It was Brian the Ood, his officers uniform completely drenched with seaweed hanging off his head. Mr Ball still tightly clutched in his left hand.
He hummed a little ditty to himself as he made his way towards the now bound Doctor and Clara and then... walked straight past them much to their surprise.
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Post by timegirl on Apr 30, 2021 20:24:02 GMT
12 and Clara were both now in pain from the rope burns the net had caused.
While Clara was grateful the water had healed both her and the Doctor with the bonus of transforming her back into her normal self and taking many years off the Doctor as well, she was not so grateful for her and the Doctor being trapped in a painful net with no clothes.
Clara shivered. 12 suddenly wished he had a blanket he could give her.
12 was wondering if it would be a good idea to get Brian the Ood’s attention. Maybe 12 could trick Brian into letting them out of the net?
Just then...
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