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Post by nucleusofswarm on Apr 6, 2017 21:18:56 GMT
Sadly the damage was done & i don't think he ever emotionally recovered from that incident to the point of having a fake relationship with a woman & because he felt ashamed of who he was he committed suicide last year & it still haunts me because we had a falling out as i told him to man up & stop living his life as a phoney & accept that he's gay thinking tough love may helped but it sadly didn't & i don't think i can forgive myself or get over it. You did what you thought was right. That's more than many can claim, and about as much as anyone can possibly do. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2017 4:46:23 GMT
On the topic of political correctness, it gets to a point where it devolved from someone simply being polite into an almost Orwellian language policing. (I was told I wasn't being PC and was downright homophobic because I said I'm not really judging Bill until we get an episode as sexuality of a new character doesn't matter) I also think that political correctness shouldn't be part of legislated politically, because of the implications on free speech. It should be if you want to act like a dick we have the right to call you a dick and not associate. I think that's someone's fear talking. Defensiveness usually stems from a recurring problem in their own life (or that of someone they know), I wouldn't take it personally. People at supermarkets who get shouted at all day have the same reaction. Well, the benefit of leaving it out of law is that anyone who uses those slurs stands out like a red light. It wouldn't stop the problem, it'd just make it harder to spot. Sadly the damage was done & i don't think he ever emotionally recovered from that incident to the point of having a fake relationship with a woman & because he felt ashamed of who he was he committed suicide last year & it still haunts me because we had a falling out as i told him to man up & stop living his life as a phoney & accept that he's gay thinking tough love may helped but it sadly didn't & i don't think i can forgive myself or get over it. Don't let those moronic jackals ruin another life. Your life. They should not and will not have such power over you. As nucleusofswarm said, you acted true to your nature and did the very best you could. Remember what they did, remember how little humanity they had and remember that you are not them. You cared, you tried and you are not them. You have a greater strength than any of those cowards ever will because you tried to help. |
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Post by Timelord007 on Apr 7, 2017 7:01:58 GMT
Cheers Nucleusofswarmv2 & wolfie53, i just felt upset he thought the need to fake a relationship to keep other people happy including that bigot of a stepdad & i felt narked I'd helped him when he come out to have it thrown back in my face as he thought that coming out was to tough & so he retreated into a lifestyle which was fake just to keep other people happy which felt like a slap in the face to me.
I had similar ignorance when word got out about my mental illness but i never lied or hid the fact i was a sufferer, i guess my cousin didn't feel he had the inner strength to stand by his coming out.
I just feel angry he took his life.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2017 6:41:17 GMT
I just feel angry he took his life. And that's not wrong, it's what you need to feel at the moment. It won't last forever and it's important to remember that acceptance comes in its own time. As you and I know, hatred isn't forever. It's too taxing to be. Peace will eventually find you on its own terms and with some luck when you least expect it. |
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Post by barnabaslives on Apr 13, 2017 23:47:02 GMT
It's a slight inconvenience for all so that swathes of people in society can get treated a bit better. It's absolutely true that words that were commonplace even when I was a kid are all but gone bar from the abusive thugs in society. Agreed that political correctness is very valuable for sometimes being helpful with what is the wrong thing. Maybe some of the awkwardness or inconvenience that come with it involves that it isn't necessary always as helpful in informing an individual what is right thing. It may border on a stereotype in itself that all members of a particular group prefer to be called a certain thing as an alternative to a given slur, for example. Hence maybe it's still possible in theory to be as sensitive or sympathetic as one can figure out how to be and still be a risk of making some offensive grand faux pas for being unsure of the right thing. Hopefully those affected will be patient with those sorts of growing pains and strive to be mindful of the spirit in which something is intended, and not take offense if none is intended. After all, any politically correct term for a group of people can still be made into a slur if it's said in a disdainful tone or prefaced with the wrong adjectives. Maybe social correctness might serve humanity better than political correctness? On the one hand I guess it's comforting if politicians are making a big deal out of PC, if we can derive any assurance that it means we won't be hearing hate speech out of them, but on the other hand I don't really know about seeing some of these matters end up in the political arena if it means they're likely to end up polarized (or abused) as things in politics sometimes are. I hope that a little basic common decency never has to be contingent on what politicians are up to at the time. I can't see where banning the celebration of holiday customs is correct, though, just because it's still exclusive rather than inclusive. That's something I'd have appreciated very much in school myself is if we'd have learned anything about anyone else's late December holiday traditions. I think too much was already left out in that area as it was. |
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