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Post by nucleusofswarm on Jul 21, 2017 23:47:01 GMT
Naturally, no one has to say or go anywhere they don't wish to with this, but how and why have you forgiven someone, and what does this term really mean to you?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2017 1:40:24 GMT
Whoa, big topic.
In terms of big transgressions, I'd say forgiveness is getting to the point where the wrong done against oneself by another -- or even by oneself, let's not discount things like guilt here -- eventually fades into the background as an irrelevant bit of minutiae. It stops having a hold over you, whatever that thing was. It's also something that genuinely takes a phenomenal amount of time, I think forgiveness is something you have to actually work on.
That's not to say that whatever the transgression was doesn't affect you anymore, it very much does, but how it is utilised in your day-to-day life isn't bound by resentment or anger. It's used as a positive drive to prevent similar such incidents from occurring again. It's very much tied into acceptance, I feel. Not to forget, but to accept that it is a part of you and something you can now use to better yourself and others.
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Post by whiskeybrewer on Jul 22, 2017 12:29:14 GMT
Maybe Forgive, Never Forget
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Post by ulyssessarcher on Jul 22, 2017 13:43:06 GMT
In the Lord's prayer we pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
Forgiveness is hard for me. Y'all know I'm brutally honest, and a lot of times on my way to work, while saying my morning prayers, I'll still get upset with God over His taking of my grandson.
I honestly don't know if I am capable of forgiveness.
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Post by aussiedoctorwhofan on Jul 22, 2017 13:49:30 GMT
I can't forgive what I can't forget. It's just there- I don't dwell on it.
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shutupbanks
Castellan
There’s a horror movie called Alien? That’s really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.
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Post by shutupbanks on Jul 23, 2017 0:50:08 GMT
I'm usually quite mouthy and impulsive myself, so I find it easy to forgive similar tendencies in others, so long as they're aware of where they messed up and have made a genuine effort to patch things up - unlike 10, I'm pretty good with second chances. However, it does mean that I'm on my guard around those people in future. But someone will have to do something pretty bad to get me offside permanently.
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Post by barnabaslives on Jul 23, 2017 1:47:17 GMT
Being neither a Saint (nor a Jainist), I generally find it pretty easy to forgive someone provided they're done beating me with a stick so to speak. It's a little hard for me to get my head around forgiving someone while they're still at dishing out whatever wrong it was, I usually just want them to stop. Other than that, I think I bounce back pretty quickly. Sometimes I guess I'm kind of like a little kid when I think I've been wronged, I might get absolutely furious and then ten minutes later I'm often over it and happy again if the offender will cease and desist. I do have to be thankful, though, that I'm not sure if anyone's ever done me a really serious wrong intentionally. I'm going to guess I might be less forgiving in more extreme circumstances.
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Post by elkawho on Jul 23, 2017 4:03:18 GMT
Whoa, big topic. In terms of big transgressions, I'd say forgiveness is getting to the point where the wrong done against oneself by another -- or even by oneself, let's not discount things like guilt here -- eventually fades into the background as an irrelevant bit of minutiae. It stops having a hold over you, whatever that thing was. It's also something that genuinely takes a phenomenal amount of time, I think forgiveness is something you have to actually work on. That's not to say that whatever the transgression was doesn't affect you anymore, it very much does, but how it is utilised in your day-to-day life isn't bound by resentment or anger. It's used as a positive drive to prevent similar such incidents from occurring again. It's very much tied into acceptance, I feel. Not to forget, but to accept that it is a part of you and something you can now use to better yourself and others. Yes, yes and more yes. I always thought I was a pretty forgiving person, until I went through the separation from my ex-husband. That betrayal was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It's been over 7 years, and while I don't think I have been able to forgive YET, I am at a point where the pain and hurt do not effect my daily life. It sometimes gets brought to the surface, since I still need to have intermittent contact with him, but I am a stronger, happier person than I was before. And Wolfie, your last paragraph states exactly how I feel, word for word. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2017 4:26:27 GMT
Whoa, big topic. In terms of big transgressions, I'd say forgiveness is getting to the point where the wrong done against oneself by another -- or even by oneself, let's not discount things like guilt here -- eventually fades into the background as an irrelevant bit of minutiae. It stops having a hold over you, whatever that thing was. It's also something that genuinely takes a phenomenal amount of time, I think forgiveness is something you have to actually work on. That's not to say that whatever the transgression was doesn't affect you anymore, it very much does, but how it is utilised in your day-to-day life isn't bound by resentment or anger. It's used as a positive drive to prevent similar such incidents from occurring again. It's very much tied into acceptance, I feel. Not to forget, but to accept that it is a part of you and something you can now use to better yourself and others. Yes, yes and more yes. I always thought I was a pretty forgiving person, until I went through the separation from my ex-husband. That betrayal was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It's been over 7 years, and while I don't think I have been able to forgive YET, I am at a point where the pain and hurt do not effect my daily life. It sometimes gets brought to the surface, since I still need to have intermittent contact with him, but I am a stronger, happier person than I was before. And Wolfie, your last paragraph states exactly how I feel, word for word. It's a glorious little miracle, isn't it? Glad to hear that it's not just a one-off occurrence either.  I'm forever grateful for having the strength to stand up again. I believe that one day -- and it sneaks up on you -- that if we can't forgive, we'll have the power of self to say that blame doesn't matter. I think I'm almost there, I just need to find a way to cement it as a certainty. |
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Post by Timelord007 on Jul 23, 2017 8:05:02 GMT
In the Lord's prayer we pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Forgiveness is hard for me. Y'all know I'm brutally honest, and a lot of times on my way to work, while saying my morning prayers, I'll still get upset with God over His taking of my grandson. I honestly don't know if I am capable of forgiveness. Depends on the situation, betrayal, liars, cheaters i can't forgive no matter what there bull..it reasons are but if it's just a trivial thing like a argument then maybe. I feel your pain, i had loved ones taken from me too & when something so tragic happens it questions our faith & resolve i still can't forgive god. |
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Post by nucleusofswarm on Jul 23, 2017 9:36:50 GMT
In the Lord's prayer we pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Forgiveness is hard for me. Y'all know I'm brutally honest, and a lot of times on my way to work, while saying my morning prayers, I'll still get upset with God over His taking of my grandson. I honestly don't know if I am capable of forgiveness. Depends on the situation, betrayal, liars, cheaters i can't forgive no matter what there bull..it reasons are but if it's just a trivial thing like a argument then maybe. I feel your pain, i had loved ones taken from me too & when something so tragic happens it questions our faith & resolve i still can't forgive god. True words indeed. |
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Post by elkawho on Jul 25, 2017 4:16:12 GMT
Yes, yes and more yes. I always thought I was a pretty forgiving person, until I went through the separation from my ex-husband. That betrayal was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It's been over 7 years, and while I don't think I have been able to forgive YET, I am at a point where the pain and hurt do not effect my daily life. It sometimes gets brought to the surface, since I still need to have intermittent contact with him, but I am a stronger, happier person than I was before. And Wolfie, your last paragraph states exactly how I feel, word for word. It's a glorious little miracle, isn't it? Glad to hear that it's not just a one-off occurrence either. I'm forever grateful for having the strength to stand up again. I believe that one day -- and it sneaks up on you -- that if we can't forgive, we'll have the power of self to say that blame doesn't matter. I think I'm almost there, I just need to find a way to cement it as a certainty. Strength, that's a big part of it. I think going through what I went through was a trial by fire for me. I say that it allowed me to find the backbone I never knew I had. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2017 7:46:46 GMT
It's a glorious little miracle, isn't it? Glad to hear that it's not just a one-off occurrence either. I'm forever grateful for having the strength to stand up again. I believe that one day -- and it sneaks up on you -- that if we can't forgive, we'll have the power of self to say that blame doesn't matter. I think I'm almost there, I just need to find a way to cement it as a certainty. Strength, that's a big part of it. I think going through what I went through was a trial by fire for me. I say that it allowed me to find the backbone I never knew I had. And I think that's the main thing to take away from it. It destroys you for a time, but you pick yourself back up again. Stronger, wiser, better than you were before. It's why I hold Time's Champion so close to my heart because that was a crystallising moment for me, the Sixth Doctor addressing the Valeyard: That to me is everything that tragedy can represent: it's a triumph just waiting to begin. You fall down for a time, but you pick yourself right back up again and keep moving forward. Because what brought you down will be used to lift you up. |
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Post by jasonward on Jul 25, 2017 15:09:27 GMT
Forgiveness is nothing more and nothing less than releasing oneself from the constraining belief that something that is or was should not be or should not have been.
It's getting that the way it is, is the way it is, and then getting on with your own life from there.
It doesn't mean you like it, or that you want it, or that you would have chosen it that way given a choice, it means you don't let your inner self burn itself away rubbing up in outrage against what is.
A friend of mine, having realised that her life didn't need to be defined (and continue to spiral downwards) by the anger she felt towards her father that had sexually abused her as a child, forgave her father, formed what was a loving caring relationship with him whilst at same time reporting him to the police, dealing with the family fall out that resulted, he went to prison, where she visited him regularly, got married, had her own kids and they have a grandfather in their life.
Forgiveness allows you to move on, get on with life.
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Post by nucleusofswarm on Sept 13, 2017 22:38:36 GMT
The moment can be such a distortion of your surroundings that it cna blow the most mundane and trivial of things. Things you hold onto for years as some kind of treason when, in truth, they were really nothing at all. Letting go of your proverbial ghosts is an important step in anything, and seperating the actual truth from your 'view'.
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Post by Audio Watchdog on Sept 17, 2017 20:41:51 GMT
It's the ability to display empathy and to move on.
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I'm forever grateful for having the strength to stand up again. I believe that one day -- and it sneaks up on you -- that if we can't forgive, we'll have the power of self to say that blame doesn't matter. I think I'm almost there, I just need to find a way to cement it as a certainty.
