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Post by nucleusofswarm on Nov 11, 2017 0:47:24 GMT
Are we too overprotective of kids nowadays, and are we potentially harming them by doing so?
Like with the school-based threads, interested in hearing the parents and teachers' perspectives on this.
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Post by jasonward on Nov 11, 2017 1:01:59 GMT
What's a "helicopter parent"?
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Post by aussiedoctorwhofan on Nov 11, 2017 1:02:55 GMT
My wife is a teacher... She could write an essay on this topic.. IMO its fine to be over protective when it comes to dangerous things like being near the stove and boiling water, cups of hot coffee etc.. There is a fine line.. If any of my relatives or my wife's tried to be a helicopter/hoverer over my boy I would definitely say something.. My wife has literally dozens of instances where parents absolutely insist there child is "Sheldon Cooper super duper uber smart"... when they are the norm.. perspective.. LOLZ
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Post by aussiedoctorwhofan on Nov 11, 2017 1:03:55 GMT
Helicopter parenting is when they constantly hover- like the "tiger mums" .. they hover constantly and micro manage every aspect..
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shutupbanks
Castellan
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Post by shutupbanks on Nov 11, 2017 3:30:21 GMT
I've taught quite a few helicopter-ed children and, on the whole, they are pretty nice kids who are aware that their parents do micromanage their lives. The effect that I've noticed is that, at some point, they start to rebel and misbehave and engage in destructive behaviours because they hate the fact that their lives really aren't their own. The other thing I've noticed is that a lot of these kids often have driven parents who lead incredibly busy lives of their own and sometimes need to have their kids monitored because they - this is probably very cynical of me - think that it might keep their offspring from realising that their parents have no time to be with them.
Unfortunately, of course, the opposite of helicoptering children is far more prevalent and a lot more harmful in the long run. When it comes down to it, parenting is an art that you have to learn in the run and which is different for nearly every kid.
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Post by omega on Nov 11, 2017 8:49:19 GMT
One side effect that can happen is that the helicopter parents don't know when to step aside, such as on matters teachers have much more experience in. Often they are blind to their children's flaw which, as mentioned above, can manifest more strongly under these circumatances. If it's not acting out, they don't learn how to handle rejection and can become spoilt. No matter how sheltered home life may be the real world can be very tough if someone throws a temper trantrum because they were told "No".
The main plot of the Simpsons episode Father Knows Worst is about Homer becoming a helicopter parent. Bart and Lisa prefer his half-assed under-parenting. There is a funny scene where Bart only wins a model making contest because his is the only one that doesn't look like a parent made it. Of course Homer had made it, but the judges are aware of this.
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Post by Timelord007 on Nov 11, 2017 9:08:02 GMT
I'm not a parent but i am a uncle & i guess I'm overprotective of my 16 yr old niece, sadly my own adolescence was tinged with sexual abuse, nearly being strangled to death & horrific beatings at school so I've experienced a lot of bad stuff over the years & so i try & protect my niece from all those unpleasant things out there which i endured & hopefully try & steer her to a happier life experience.
Today with social media & the dangers within society how quicker children seem to develop i think we need to help & support them rather than hover over them.
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Post by omega on Nov 11, 2017 9:28:05 GMT
It should be a two-way thing, the parent and their son/daughter working together to identify the best way forward. Parents do have a lot of influence, but their children need to have input and the chance to learn things for themselves.
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Post by nucleusofswarm on Nov 11, 2017 10:12:44 GMT
What's a "helicopter parent"? What aussie said. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2017 12:46:07 GMT
What's a "helicopter parent"? What aussie said. It's not a term we use over here so I wasn't familiar with it either... |
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Post by nucleusofswarm on Nov 12, 2017 0:29:43 GMT
I've taught quite a few helicopter-ed children and, on the whole, they are pretty nice kids who are aware that their parents do micromanage their lives. Children really have an amazing amount of self-awareness. |
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Post by theotherjosh on Nov 12, 2017 2:02:22 GMT
I just don't get the helicopter mindset. I can see why people do it, we love our children more than anything in the world and we want to protect them, but it's impossible to protect them from everything without making them a prisoner and even if you do this you're severely handicapping the child's ability to function in later life.
My wife and I try to strike a balance. Our daughter is timid by nature and she was badly scalded when she was five (Her grandmother was watching her one day. The grandmother stepped out of the room, our daughter saw the lunch bag with the treats on a counter and reached for it, not realizing that the other strap was looped around of hot tea) and she was hit by a car this time last year when walking home from school after our town eliminated busing for kids within two miles of a school. Consequently, she has some more legitimate concerns about being hurt.
It's been a journey getting her to feel safe, but we want to give her the ability and the confidence to take care of herself. When I'm watching her, I keep close watch on the situation but only rarely do I feel the need to intervene. I owe her the chance to make her own choices and mistakes. Figuring out how to solve your own problems within your peer group is an important part of growing up.
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