Whats Made your day or not.....
Jul 21, 2023 8:34:33 GMT
shutupbanks, aussiedoctorwhofan, and 3 more like this
Post by tuigirl on Jul 21, 2023 8:34:33 GMT
Just wanted to give an update on myself-
I am still battling on.
This week, I was on leave from work, a welcome rest period.
Sunday I drove up North to see the largest bird zoo in the world, with the largest collection of birds. It was wonderful- they even have a hummingbird house and a kiwi house!
They do flight shows where their raptors and the large parrots (macaw et al.) fly free (not at the same time, though
).
You even see the Andean Condor, the biggest flying bird in the world, in flight!
Needless to say I loved this and spend all day there, from opening at 10 am to closing at 7 pm.
I am still pretty unwell with my mental health.
I have not gone home to see my family since May, reason is, my family has ZERO understanding for mental health issues. These simply do not exists and people suffering from them have to "get a grip, toughen up and stop moaning and stop being a drag on society". I am totally aware that my parents have no clue and do not say these things because they are mean, but because they simply do not understand.
But going home, suffering, and being close to getting extended sick leave from work, and then first thing my dad goes into a rant about "all these free-loaders suffering from burn-out and depression, waste of tax-payer's money"- I simply do NOT feel welcome there.
And no, I have not spoken to my parents about how severely I suffer.
Last time I was there I left early, saying I was feeling very unwell and had a headache.
Also, my parents always have a sure way of making me feel guilty for not visiting more often- but honestly, in my current state, I also do not see that this would be healthy for me.
Lose-lose situation....
This week I made the BIG decision to finally get my undiagnosed ADHD seen to and contacted my health insurer for a list of doctors and went to the GP for a referral.
This left me very broken and frustrated and disheartened.
I live in rural Germany, 20km North of the butt- end of nowhere.
I called up 30 doctors in a 100km radius.
NOT A SINGLE ONE could help me, they either do not do ADHD or they do not take any new patients.
I contacted the health insurer again, and they will try to find any doctor IN MY STATE who might be able to help me- this means, I might have to drive 200km and wait 12 months for an appointment.
I was so frustrated I went to the GP again, and he just shrugged.
My GP told me "I am sorry, but there simply are no doctors here. The ONLY way for you to get an appointment fast would be if I made you an EMERGENCY and have you transferred to a clinic."
Well, I am not that desperate at the moment, but to be honest, I am seriously considering the option.
Reason- work is just not fun anymore, neither for me, nor for my colleagues.
I am often frustrated and overwhelmed and very moody and short tempered and I had been told off for this (which really is a great way of making me feel better. Sarcasm).
This really needs to be seen to and I hope I get prescribed some meds.
Because I understand that my frustration and depression and panic attacks are just symptoms, and all my life, nothing was ever done to address the cause and root of the problem.
And no, of course I was not diagnosed as a child, because back then (and with my parents) ADHD and mental issues just did not exist.
I also had massive issues with a colleague at work.
We had originally planned to go to the German Doctor Who convention together, but since there were MAJOR issues and trouble which had me hauled in front of the department heads, I stopped all contact with the guy. It was just very unhealthy for me and dragged me down and stressed me out no end.
So now I feel massively guilt about that to.
I am now taking a break from Doctor Who and from Big Finish, simply, because this reminds me too much of all the BS that was going on.
I even do not know if I will go to the convention and see all my friends.
Which also drags me down a lot, because I only see them every 1-2 years.
All this is just a bit much for me to cope with at the moment.
Otherwise-
Last night I had a great time at the Scuba Diving training of my local club.
We spend an hour practicing emergency stuff in the deep pool.
This was very full on (I have sore muscles today!) and it really took my mind off things.
Scuba diving always calms me down.
It makes me focus and under water, all is quiet and nobody is going to annoy you.
At least I am looking forward to my scuba diving holiday in September.
So, this is basically me.
Sorry for the wall of text.
I am still battling on.
This week, I was on leave from work, a welcome rest period.
Sunday I drove up North to see the largest bird zoo in the world, with the largest collection of birds. It was wonderful- they even have a hummingbird house and a kiwi house!
They do flight shows where their raptors and the large parrots (macaw et al.) fly free (not at the same time, though
). You even see the Andean Condor, the biggest flying bird in the world, in flight!
Needless to say I loved this and spend all day there, from opening at 10 am to closing at 7 pm.
I am still pretty unwell with my mental health.
I have not gone home to see my family since May, reason is, my family has ZERO understanding for mental health issues. These simply do not exists and people suffering from them have to "get a grip, toughen up and stop moaning and stop being a drag on society". I am totally aware that my parents have no clue and do not say these things because they are mean, but because they simply do not understand.
But going home, suffering, and being close to getting extended sick leave from work, and then first thing my dad goes into a rant about "all these free-loaders suffering from burn-out and depression, waste of tax-payer's money"- I simply do NOT feel welcome there.
And no, I have not spoken to my parents about how severely I suffer.
Last time I was there I left early, saying I was feeling very unwell and had a headache.
Also, my parents always have a sure way of making me feel guilty for not visiting more often- but honestly, in my current state, I also do not see that this would be healthy for me.
Lose-lose situation....
This week I made the BIG decision to finally get my undiagnosed ADHD seen to and contacted my health insurer for a list of doctors and went to the GP for a referral.
This left me very broken and frustrated and disheartened.
I live in rural Germany, 20km North of the butt- end of nowhere.
I called up 30 doctors in a 100km radius.
NOT A SINGLE ONE could help me, they either do not do ADHD or they do not take any new patients.
I contacted the health insurer again, and they will try to find any doctor IN MY STATE who might be able to help me- this means, I might have to drive 200km and wait 12 months for an appointment.
I was so frustrated I went to the GP again, and he just shrugged.
My GP told me "I am sorry, but there simply are no doctors here. The ONLY way for you to get an appointment fast would be if I made you an EMERGENCY and have you transferred to a clinic."
Well, I am not that desperate at the moment, but to be honest, I am seriously considering the option.
Reason- work is just not fun anymore, neither for me, nor for my colleagues.
I am often frustrated and overwhelmed and very moody and short tempered and I had been told off for this (which really is a great way of making me feel better. Sarcasm).
This really needs to be seen to and I hope I get prescribed some meds.
Because I understand that my frustration and depression and panic attacks are just symptoms, and all my life, nothing was ever done to address the cause and root of the problem.
And no, of course I was not diagnosed as a child, because back then (and with my parents) ADHD and mental issues just did not exist.
I also had massive issues with a colleague at work.
We had originally planned to go to the German Doctor Who convention together, but since there were MAJOR issues and trouble which had me hauled in front of the department heads, I stopped all contact with the guy. It was just very unhealthy for me and dragged me down and stressed me out no end.
So now I feel massively guilt about that to.
I am now taking a break from Doctor Who and from Big Finish, simply, because this reminds me too much of all the BS that was going on.
I even do not know if I will go to the convention and see all my friends.
Which also drags me down a lot, because I only see them every 1-2 years.
All this is just a bit much for me to cope with at the moment.
Otherwise-
Last night I had a great time at the Scuba Diving training of my local club.
We spend an hour practicing emergency stuff in the deep pool.
This was very full on (I have sore muscles today!) and it really took my mind off things.
Scuba diving always calms me down.
It makes me focus and under water, all is quiet and nobody is going to annoy you.
At least I am looking forward to my scuba diving holiday in September.
So, this is basically me.
Sorry for the wall of text.
