|
Post by tuigirl on Feb 8, 2022 12:58:45 GMT
You been a kind loyal son, you stepped up & looked after your mom that shows what a good kind hearted person you are, many sons or daughters wouldn't do what you've done & remember you had a loving happy relationship with your mom. Sadly same happened a year ago with my dad he died of pneumonia via covid & it changed me emotionally because while i spoke to him on the phone about our estranged past relationship & ii didn't get say things i wanted to say & felt covid robbed me of that. Just remember you didn't bring covid into your home on purpose as it out there & you sadly caught it, nobodys at fault it's just another kick in the teeth life throws at us. All i & others can do is off you support when needed, keep posting on here anytime need to vent, the emotions you experiencing are normal it been a year since my dad's passing & I'm nowhere near close processing it, i have feelings of sadness, confusion, anger everyday i feel he like many others was neglected as he was diabetic type 1 & to be told had they not cancelled his check ups he'd be still here brings out a rage in me i never knew exsisted. Remember even though it may feel your alone your not this forum supported & continues to support me & it will support you anytime you need it too. Sending you big hug of support & remember were all here for you. So sorry this happening to you & again very sorry for your loss. Thanks for your kind words…… I am afraid life is very dark at the moment…… to anyone else reading this……DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR LIFE TO LOOK AFTER OTHERS in the uk, there is zero help from the moment they pass……no money, no help and the fees for her death will mean I will have to sell the house. it’s just awful, for me……. It’s the worst, I wish covid had taken me too……. I am so sorry. This is horrific what you are going through. Not sure what else to say. Please try to hang in there.
|
|
|
Post by Timelord007 on Feb 8, 2022 16:11:58 GMT
You been a kind loyal son, you stepped up & looked after your mom that shows what a good kind hearted person you are, many sons or daughters wouldn't do what you've done & remember you had a loving happy relationship with your mom. Sadly same happened a year ago with my dad he died of pneumonia via covid & it changed me emotionally because while i spoke to him on the phone about our estranged past relationship & ii didn't get say things i wanted to say & felt covid robbed me of that. Just remember you didn't bring covid into your home on purpose as it out there & you sadly caught it, nobodys at fault it's just another kick in the teeth life throws at us. All i & others can do is off you support when needed, keep posting on here anytime need to vent, the emotions you experiencing are normal it been a year since my dad's passing & I'm nowhere near close processing it, i have feelings of sadness, confusion, anger everyday i feel he like many others was neglected as he was diabetic type 1 & to be told had they not cancelled his check ups he'd be still here brings out a rage in me i never knew exsisted. Remember even though it may feel your alone your not this forum supported & continues to support me & it will support you anytime you need it too. Sending you big hug of support & remember were all here for you. So sorry this happening to you & again very sorry for your loss. Thanks for your kind words…… I am afraid life is very dark at the moment…… to anyone else reading this……DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR LIFE TO LOOK AFTER OTHERS in the uk, there is zero help from the moment they pass……no money, no help and the fees for her death will mean I will have to sell the house. it’s just awful, for me……. It’s the worst, I wish covid had taken me too……. I don't wish be nosey but did your mom cover a life insurance policy to cover funeral expenses, both my parents have & we were able access those funds after dads death certificate. You shouldn't have suffer such stress during this emotional time, try contact Citizens Advice because this is a stress you don't need at this moment. www.google.com/url?q=https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/bereavement&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwiai_vdv_D1AhWFmFwKHZmSAWsQFnoECAsQAg&usg=AOvVaw2OwpmAUnN8Tu63tyi4r8bpIs there a family member or friend who can help you with this? Is there anyone on this forum with knowledge of advising our friend here?
|
|
|
Post by muckypup on Feb 8, 2022 20:57:01 GMT
Thanks for your kind words…… I am afraid life is very dark at the moment…… to anyone else reading this……DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR LIFE TO LOOK AFTER OTHERS in the uk, there is zero help from the moment they pass……no money, no help and the fees for her death will mean I will have to sell the house. it’s just awful, for me……. It’s the worst, I wish covid had taken me too……. I don't wish be nosey but did your mom cover a life insurance policy to cover funeral expenses, both my parents have & we were able access those funds after dads death certificate. You shouldn't have suffer such stress during this emotional time, try contact Citizens Advice because this is a stress you don't need at this moment. www.google.com/url?q=https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/bereavement&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwiai_vdv_D1AhWFmFwKHZmSAWsQFnoECAsQAg&usg=AOvVaw2OwpmAUnN8Tu63tyi4r8bpIs there a family member or friend who can help you with this? Is there anyone on this forum with knowledge of advising our friend here? It’s ok dude, no life insurance, no savings & not enough money to cover costs……. funeral fees 4K & solicitor fees will be about 3k, tax about 1k & outstanding debts about 4K………so as I gave her half the house 20 years ago so thinking we were more secure it now means that they can claim against her half of the house to cover her estate costs….while they cannot make me sell house they can start bailiff proceedings against her estate…..it’s just a mess……..I will probably have to sell my stuff like the car & bike etc to raise the funds short term, then get a job etc …….. it’s all just so stressful…….but funeral is Thursday get that over with then I can regroup……. and on top of me being sick and getting covid and the guilt it’s all just a bit much…… to be honest I would not mind if I went to sleep n didn’t wake up, but that’s not the way life works…… we struggle on……..
|
|
|
Post by Ela on Feb 9, 2022 3:13:22 GMT
Hang in there, muckypup. Tough stuff you are going through right now.
|
|
|
Post by Timelord007 on Feb 9, 2022 9:00:50 GMT
It’s ok dude, no life insurance, no savings & not enough money to cover costs……. funeral fees 4K & solicitor fees will be about 3k, tax about 1k & outstanding debts about 4K………so as I gave her half the house 20 years ago so thinking we were more secure it now means that they can claim against her half of the house to cover her estate costs….while they cannot make me sell house they can start bailiff proceedings against her estate…..it’s just a mess……..I will probably have to sell my stuff like the car & bike etc to raise the funds short term, then get a job etc …….. it’s all just so stressful…….but funeral is Thursday get that over with then I can regroup……. and on top of me being sick and getting covid and the guilt it’s all just a bit much…… to be honest I would not mind if I went to sleep n didn’t wake up, but that’s not the way life works…… we struggle on…….. If there's any good in this world please shine it on our friend here he's a good man grieving for his mom & doesn't deserve this additional stress. Keep posting my friend this forum will always have your back.
|
|
shutupbanks
Castellan
There’s a horror movie called Alien? That’s really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.
Likes: 5,649
|
Post by shutupbanks on Feb 9, 2022 9:55:31 GMT
It’s ok dude, no life insurance, no savings & not enough money to cover costs……. funeral fees 4K & solicitor fees will be about 3k, tax about 1k & outstanding debts about 4K………so as I gave her half the house 20 years ago so thinking we were more secure it now means that they can claim against her half of the house to cover her estate costs….while they cannot make me sell house they can start bailiff proceedings against her estate…..it’s just a mess……..I will probably have to sell my stuff like the car & bike etc to raise the funds short term, then get a job etc …….. it’s all just so stressful…….but funeral is Thursday get that over with then I can regroup……. and on top of me being sick and getting covid and the guilt it’s all just a bit much…… to be honest I would not mind if I went to sleep n didn’t wake up, but that’s not the way life works…… we struggle on…….. My experience has been that creditors are happy for you to be paying the bare minimum on these debts so long as they are getting something from you. Is that at all possible in this case? I’m not in the UK but I know that a lot of charities offer free financial advice for people in need and they might be able to advocate on your behalf. Apologies if I’m overstepping the mark, mucky.
|
|
|
Post by muckypup on Feb 10, 2022 22:39:20 GMT
It’s ok dude, no life insurance, no savings & not enough money to cover costs……. funeral fees 4K & solicitor fees will be about 3k, tax about 1k & outstanding debts about 4K………so as I gave her half the house 20 years ago so thinking we were more secure it now means that they can claim against her half of the house to cover her estate costs….while they cannot make me sell house they can start bailiff proceedings against her estate…..it’s just a mess……..I will probably have to sell my stuff like the car & bike etc to raise the funds short term, then get a job etc …….. it’s all just so stressful…….but funeral is Thursday get that over with then I can regroup……. and on top of me being sick and getting covid and the guilt it’s all just a bit much…… to be honest I would not mind if I went to sleep n didn’t wake up, but that’s not the way life works…… we struggle on…….. My experience has been that creditors are happy for you to be paying the bare minimum on these debts so long as they are getting something from you. Is that at all possible in this case? I’m not in the UK but I know that a lot of charities offer free financial advice for people in need and they might be able to advocate on your behalf. Apologies if I’m overstepping the mark, mucky. No your fine….. funeral company & tax all require settlement by end of feb……..that giving me a two week extension……. outstanding debt being negotiated…..but all still a hassle funeral today went as ok as they go, but on the positive side, my little Avenue collected some money for flowers, but got a lot and given me an envelope with almost a 4 figure sum in it…….n a card telling me to use it for something practical….meaning here’s a bit of help…..bless them………I don’t want to accept it but it is a big help……n now’s not the time to be proud i might just get through this
|
|
|
Post by Timelord007 on Feb 11, 2022 9:18:38 GMT
My experience has been that creditors are happy for you to be paying the bare minimum on these debts so long as they are getting something from you. Is that at all possible in this case? I’m not in the UK but I know that a lot of charities offer free financial advice for people in need and they might be able to advocate on your behalf. Apologies if I’m overstepping the mark, mucky. No your fine….. funeral company & tax all require settlement by end of feb……..that giving me a two week extension……. outstanding debt being negotiated…..but all still a hassle funeral today went as ok as they go, but on the positive side, my little Avenue collected some money for flowers, but got a lot and given me an envelope with almost a 4 figure sum in it…….n a card telling me to use it for something practical….meaning here’s a bit of help…..bless them………I don’t want to accept it but it is a big help……n now’s not the time to be proud i might just get through this Glad the funeral went ok as well as funerals go, it is difficult to let go, i can't part dad's car yet despite owning my own car because when i drive his car like he's still here with me. That a lovely gesture & think of it as maybe a sign that your mom watching over you, i believe those who pass on watch over us & send someone or something to help us in our darkest hour. A good man you are done good by looking after your mom, the coming days will be difficult so remember keep posting on here & we'll all be here give you moral support.
|
|
|
Post by muckypup on Feb 17, 2022 9:00:53 GMT
Just an update for those interested……. Bless Santander bank, they found another account of my mums that I had no paper work for!
It had almost 8k in it so I have used it to pay everything owed….. Still. Not in the best situation financially but at least now there is no debt and no threats……
So that’s a weight off my mind, I lost almost w stone in a month with worry n not eating……..another month of this n I will be at my ideal weight…….lol
But next few weeks I will need to begin looking for work, so if anyone wants a little bit poorly, worn out 50 year old I’m your man!!
|
|
|
Post by Timelord007 on Feb 17, 2022 9:39:43 GMT
Just an update for those interested……. Bless Santander bank, they found another account of my mums that I had no paper work for! It had almost 8k in it so I have used it to pay everything owed….. Still. Not in the best situation financially but at least now there is no debt and no threats…… So that’s a weight off my mind, I lost almost w stone in a month with worry n not eating……..another month of this n I will be at my ideal weight…….lol But next few weeks I will need to begin looking for work, so if anyone wants a little bit poorly, worn out 50 year old I’m your man!! Despite this terrible time I'm glad good fortune shined on you & that this money helped you pay off debts, your a good man who don't deserve this stress or worry & i know losing a parent is heartbreaking as this time last year it was me. Keep posting on here my friend were all in your corner & hopefully something turns up workwise for you soon.
|
|
|
Post by Chakoteya on Feb 17, 2022 9:45:51 GMT
Just an update for those interested……. Bless Santander bank, they found another account of my mums that I had no paper work for! It had almost 8k in it so I have used it to pay everything owed….. Still. Not in the best situation financially but at least now there is no debt and no threats…… So that’s a weight off my mind, I lost almost w stone in a month with worry n not eating……..another month of this n I will be at my ideal weight…….lol But next few weeks I will need to begin looking for work, so if anyone wants a little bit poorly, worn out 50 year old I’m your man!! Phew!
Amazing how these things just drop out of the Space-Time vortex at the last moment...
Not going to offer platitudes - everyone's experience of grief is different. Learnt that the hard way.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Likes:
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2022 14:37:30 GMT
Well, speakin of grief..
Would appreciate you watch this if you can. Some of you will remember after Michael passed away and "h" from Marillion found out thanks to a friend and sent me an email than I have kept ever since with lyrics to a song literally only released today, I had them before the band. "Care" will always be a song that reminds me of Michael but also of Steve/h and the kindness he did not need to show but did.
Sorry, this is not a "review" or "unboxing" (but I do show the set open up and some stuff inside) but rather my personal story and tribute and thanks to h. And if you can spare 11 mins..I would appreciate it.
|
|
|
Post by aussiedoctorwhofan on Mar 4, 2022 21:13:13 GMT
So my brother-in-law has caught the dreaded covid.. He has a section of the house to himself and my sister and 2 nephews are keeping well away from him. He msgd me saying so far it just feels like a normal cold.I urged him to monitor his symptoms.
ARGH
|
|
|
Post by muckypup on Mar 4, 2022 23:07:16 GMT
Well, speakin of grief.. Would appreciate you watch this if you can. Some of you will remember after Michael passed away and "h" from Marillion found out thanks to a friend and sent me an email than I have kept ever since with lyrics to a song literally only released today, I had them before the band. "Care" will always be a song that reminds me of Michael but also of Steve/h and the kindness he did not need to show but did. Sorry, this is not a "review" or "unboxing" (but I do show the set open up and some stuff inside) but rather my personal story and tribute and thanks to h. And if you can spare 11 mins..I would appreciate it. My heart still goes out to you dude, covid ripped your brotherly bond & heart out for me it helped a sweet poorly mum slip away peaceful, it’s still broke me but I’m trying to find my inner piece in that…. the worst of times brings out the best in people & thanks for sharing poignant lyrics and kinda reminded me of something my mum said well texted on her last Lucid day
And if I am to leave you as doctors have said I might, wherever I go next there will be no angel better than you. Thank you caring for me…..& being my best friend You always told me I was your hero, but you were mine…enjoy your life now, but I hope I’m around too enjoy it with you.
my life’s a bit crap now, but as good byes go I will take that.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Likes:
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2022 23:47:25 GMT
Really hurt my foot on the wooden floor. I’m not 100% certain if anything got in it, but the Doctor said there wasn’t. It hurt like hell and I had to take painkillers.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Likes:
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2022 2:11:33 GMT
Well, speakin of grief.. Would appreciate you watch this if you can. Some of you will remember after Michael passed away and "h" from Marillion found out thanks to a friend and sent me an email than I have kept ever since with lyrics to a song literally only released today, I had them before the band. "Care" will always be a song that reminds me of Michael but also of Steve/h and the kindness he did not need to show but did. Sorry, this is not a "review" or "unboxing" (but I do show the set open up and some stuff inside) but rather my personal story and tribute and thanks to h. And if you can spare 11 mins..I would appreciate it. My heart still goes out to you dude, covid ripped your brotherly bond & heart out for me it helped a sweet poorly mum slip away peaceful, it’s still broke me but I’m trying to find my inner piece in that…. the worst of times brings out the best in people & thanks for sharing poignant lyrics and kinda reminded me of something my mum said well texted on her last Lucid day
And if I am to leave you as doctors have said I might, wherever I go next there will be no angel better than you. Thank you caring for me…..& being my best friend You always told me I was your hero, but you were mine…enjoy your life now, but I hope I’m around too enjoy it with you.
my life’s a bit crap now, but as good byes go I will take that.
Your Mum would be so proud of you, Pup. You, I and Timelord are three people on here who have directly lost people (that we know of) and the three of us have all been bonded by it. There is no timescale on grief - but ultimately we can only honour our loved ones who had days stolen by livin our days as best we can.
|
|
|
Post by tuigirl on Mar 5, 2022 9:43:35 GMT
So my brother-in-law has caught the dreaded covid.. He has a section of the house to himself and my sister and 2 nephews are keeping well away from him. He msgd me saying so far it just feels like a normal cold.I urged him to monitor his symptoms. ARGH I wish them all the best. Hope they get well soon.
|
|
|
Post by muckypup on Mar 5, 2022 12:21:38 GMT
So my brother-in-law has caught the dreaded covid.. He has a section of the house to himself and my sister and 2 nephews are keeping well away from him. He msgd me saying so far it just feels like a normal cold.I urged him to monitor his symptoms. ARGH Sure he will be ok, as long as had jabs to help fight it look at me 50!, heart problems, diabetic & just had cancer treatment………n I got through it. Oxymeters are the key, if it drops to 93% seek help we come a long way from the early dark days wish him best from me,
|
|
|
Post by muckypup on Mar 9, 2022 0:15:13 GMT
So my brother-in-law has caught the dreaded covid.. He has a section of the house to himself and my sister and 2 nephews are keeping well away from him. He msgd me saying so far it just feels like a normal cold.I urged him to monitor his symptoms. ARGH Hope your bro-in-law doing ok, and no one else caught it……
|
|
|
Post by aussiedoctorwhofan on Mar 9, 2022 1:08:56 GMT
So my brother-in-law has caught the dreaded covid.. He has a section of the house to himself and my sister and 2 nephews are keeping well away from him. He msgd me saying so far it just feels like a normal cold.I urged him to monitor his symptoms. ARGH Hope your bro-in-law doing ok, and no one else caught it…… So far so good, my sister and 2 nephews are fine.
|
|